We’ll I’ve figured it out.
I’ve said it a majillion times. I truly believe that the imperfections in our home have the ability to help put people at ease. There’s something about walking in a house and being greeted by a kind person who lives beautifully within her imperfect home, without apology that makes me want to be friends with her and tell her all my secrets. Why would I want to try to pretend that my home is perfect when imperfection can be so powerful? When I walk into a home, I find myself scanning for something asking myself–is this house too perfect? too put together? too unapproachable?–because if it is, I’m not nearly as comfortable.
Funny, the secret to taking friendship from surface to deep is the same. We already know it, we just wish there was another way. It’s simple and nearly impossible all at the same time. We have to show our junk, share the crud, let others know about our imperfections before we can move deeper into friendship.
We’ve got to show our ugly because everyone has carried a pee cup.
It’s the only way.
And just like any risk, the best way is to start small. Take a baby step and share a little something personal and see how your friend reacts. Do they listen? Do they encourage? Do they accept you? If so, you are laying the groundwork for a stronger friendship and most of the time, the other person will start sharing their less than perfects too. And you build from there. It’s risky. All good things are. But friends are worth it.
Maybe you have some friends that you are wishing you were closer with. Dare to be an imperfectionist. Maybe you are new in town or an introvert or have a new baby or an empty nest and things have just changed and you wish you had that circle of friends. Well, (in)courage wants to provide a place for you to get to know other women, in your town who are just like you and me, imperfect and lovely and ready to be a friend.
Have you heard about the (in)Real Life Conference? Here’s a little two-minute video if you want to find out more.
Still don’t believe me about the imperfections? Last year I asked on facebook if anyone wanted to send me a photo of their messy house. I had so many photos I couldn’t even include them in this video–there is something about imperfections that just connect us and we all long to be connected. It’s beautiful and when I watch this video I instantly know I could be friends with the messer of all of these rooms.