Now that I’ve come and gone I know what you all want to know. You want to know the exact same thing that I want to know. You want to know what one brave lady dared to put into words:
I love that it’s from Cindy, a fellow home blogger. She gets that there could be a disconnect. And I did respond to her in the comments but my first reaction in my head was::
I KNOW! Why in the world do you think I didn’t want to go? Because before I went all I could think of was “this is totally gonna ruin my blog and then I will have no business whatsoever”. Thanks a lot Shaun Groves.
and then I also thought…
If it wasn’t for Nesting Place I wouldn’t be able to sponsor 3 boys, I probably wouldn’ t even know much about Compassion, I certainly wouldn’t have gotten to meet Topiwo. Maybe Nesting Place isn’t such a bad gig?
and then I also thought…
How can ANY OF US continue to do what we do and go about our normal business? We all saw those children in need, not just me–hey, don’t put this all on me, we are in this boat together!
and I also thought,
maybe change isn’t a bad thing, maybe one can be changed without changing every single thing, maybe it just changes things about those things for the better–are you following my thinking?
And then I got back to the US on Sunday and GUESS WHAT?!
Everyone here still has the audacity to have houses! And they have the nerve to still live in them! They still procrastinate and don’t enjoy them and use them to their fullest potential because of fear. And I still feel called to be a voice that speaks into those fears and after learning from Topiwo I feel even more equipped.
And I think about what they would do. Because I know if our roles were switched these maternal ladies would sponsor my child in a heartbeat and they would do whatever it was that God gifted them to do in whatever crazy field that was in order to make that happen and make no apologies. And I think they would tell me to do the same.
And I remember she told me it took her two weeks to hand bead her necklace. Just that one small one–she’s wearing two in this photo the bigger one seems twice as big. We all seek beauty, don’t we? It’s a universal trait we inherited from our Creator. And most of us, even if we live in a mud hut, will make the time to create beauty. Meaningful beauty with purpose and balance.
And I think about that book I started writing in January. And how I’ve struggled with it and not even told you about it and wondered what it’s purpose was and suddenly after walking into a mud hut and seeing a declaration of faith I feel like I’m ready to tackle those words again with a fresh perspective.
And I think about how I am blessed and how they are blessed too and how we are different and the same.
And I think about this conversation between two women of great faith that I love and consider mentors, Darlene and Angela as they talk about creating beauty in the image of God.
So yesterday I went to super Target and I did not cry. I even *gasp* bought a Starbucks coffee and didn’t have guilt (ok maybe a little but not much). I wrote sponsor letter and gave a family gift to the three boys we sponsor and was thrilled I could. I cried in the car on the way to carpool. And today I’m getting ready for the magazine people to come to my home next week and I even bought some pillows for our bed (even though I self righteously told Shuan Groves I would not under any circumstances be buying anything for my house because of this shoot).
And I have a new passion to continue to think about my home and share it with you for as long as you will listen. Changed, but not changing everything. Although still, EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.
Are we clear?
amen.
