It’s not one of my goals to have an impeccable, eat off the floor, ultra organized home. I’d rather have a workable, approachable, forgiving, welcoming, lived in, acceptable, good enough home that I’m comfortable in and that is presentable.
My house isn’t dirty. But, it’s rarely clean all at the same time. I know what my threshold is for messiness and our home usually stays right within my limits.
And sometimes a room needs too look like this for awhile so that I have the time to make another room look better.
{every photo but this one was taken this morning}
This room rarely looks like this. All my boys are at school in this photo along with their 40 pound backpacks, stinky tennis shoes and 19 cups that they each use every day. What a beautiful mess they create.
It normally looks like this with a huge dog bed and coffee cups and books and papers and 14 remotes. Back when our boys were younger there would have also been a train track on the floor. Oh how I miss train track on the floor. Now, we have a wet suit for diving hanging up in the bathtub and teeth rotting in tiny jars for a science project and a dog that believes my husband is the king of the universe. I think my dog just proposed.
And really, I’m kind of a messy person. Us creative types usually are. My husband is very neat but also easy going to a fault and puts up with me and never complains about the condition of the house. If it bothered him, I’d probably try to keep it a little neater. And looking at this, I really should start picking up more after myself. It would only take 30 seconds to make this bathroom look presentable.
One of the tricks I pull to make people think my home is clean and orderly is I try to keep the entry area clutter free and cleanish. Works every time. There’s something about walking in to a tidy area that magically makes one assume that an entire house is clean. It’s not.
Another trick I learned was to keep some surfaces cleared off. Here’s where we eat. I just sold most of our chairs so right now we are eating in the family room until I figure out what I want. Our home is constantly being tweaked and played with and moved around. And once again, if my man was annoyed by this I’d probably need to find a new hobby but, he just goes with the flow and is happy that I can find some chairs with the money I made from selling the old ones so he’s very smart to just let me have fun and be creative for free. What’s a few meals eaten in the family room if it makes your wife happy, right?
Sinks are for dishes.
I really need to get on the boys for not cleaning up the playroom. But, they do their chores and sometimes we just let the playroom go. It’s normally about 10 minutes away from being clean.
I am not a slave to my house, my house is supposed to work for me. I’ve learned the balance of what kinds of messiness I can put up with in order to accomplish other things like cooking dinner and writing blog posts {this is my business you know} and picking up boys from school and watching 30 Rock with my husband. Throughout the years my standards have changed, I’ve allowed myself to lower my expectations, sometimes I want my house to be more organized, sometimes messes don’t bother me. But, I’ve learned not to let other people’s standards of tidiness dictate me feeling guilty for having baskets of clean laundry on the floor.
Having a presentable home is more about what I feel comfortable inviting others into. And I don’t mind a little messiness if it means I get to accomplish my bigger goals and still have friends over.
What is the current stat of your nest? And more importantly, is it working for you?
Last October I took an entire month and wrote 31 Days to a Less Messy Nest. Written from the perspective of a clean enough, working, household in constant use.
You’re bog is EXACTLY what a blog should be. Full of beauty and inspiration, but real. I love your blog but never comment. I guess I feel like my little comment wll get “lost in the crowd!”
I don’t visit blogs that make me feel like I could never measure up – not because I think those ladies are perfect . . . but because I know they’re not being honest!
Thanks for this post, and yes I’m one of those (somewhat) messy, creative types!
The comments are usually the best part of the blog, right? So glad you are here Mandy
I thought I was looking at my own house, except there’s only myself, husband and 60lb. Murphy Dog. I can’t blame anything on the kids anymore…we’re empty nesters! You are such an inspiration, now I know you’re real and not a figment of my imagination! Thanks for sharing the real Nester!
Debbie
Is it wierd to say that “I love you!” I am a slightly messy, creative type too! This post helped me to exhale a bit. And my husband is just as forgiving because I pour my heart and soul into our family. I just felt like you and I were on the same page about all this. Thank you so much for writing!
p.s. I have a friend who is from England but lives here. She always says to me “why do people have such perfect houses here? In England there are books everywhere and people don’t have these immaculate spaces.” It cracks me up every time.
I totally needed this post! I’ve been feeling like my house is completely trashed, but really it’s just lived in. I love your tips of keeping flat surfaces clear. I took a few minutes and cleared off my tables and counters and it looks SO much better.
I agree. I love that it is real. I especially like the pic of the playroom with the frame slightly off center, as well as the lampshade. Looks like our rooms after the boys have been in it playing.
Thanks for the tips, and the honesty. It is so refreshing in a blogging world where people only put their best foot forward…
My house is a mess right now. Except for the kids’ bathroom, because I just painted it and it is now my favourite room in the house (at least until I paint the rest of the house), so I try to keep it tidy. Which was my reason for painting it first anyway ;-)
I tolerate mess a little too well. My mom was a packrat-messy-creative-type, so our home was always a disaster. Whenever I start feeling bad for my messy house, I remember what my mom’s was like. But I know what kind of messes bother my husband, so I try to keep those areas clean…er.
Thanks for this!! Makes me feel much better.
Thank you dear sweet Nester for this post. I am so inspired by your blog and the beautiful home you’ve created for your family but it is so refreshing to see that it’s okay to not have everything picture perfect all the time. There are too many days that I am stressed about the state of my house. With four kids five and under, including a 8 week old, I still stubbornly struggle to obtain that perfect company ready home. I constantly live in fear that my mother in law will drop in and see the mess, including the multiple train track sets on the living room floor, or clean obsessively when friends are stopping by for a few minutes just so I can appear to have it completely under control AT ALL TIMES. All this energy directed at maintaining a beautiful home that no one can enjoy has been so overwhelming. Thank you for giving me perspective before I missed all the fleeting moments playing with my little mess makers ….rather than running around behind them like a crazed street sweep.
My home is messy, fun, organized, chaotic, loving, blessed, vintage, new, silly, encouraging, cluttered, neat. And I wouldn’t have it any other way :)
Thank you for this aweful ;) post.
HUGS,
~me
Clean and organized works for my husband and me. Clean doesn’t necessarily make a house less fun, as I might read between the lines from some! We don’t have kids (only dogs) and the house is always pretty neat. If it gets messy, neither of us freak out, we just feel a little calmer when it’s clean.
I just have to echo everybody else – thanks for always keeping it real! I love seeing the beautiful homes deisgn bloggers have, but there’s always just a tinge of frustation because I feel like I will never be able to measure up to that level of perfection. As soon as I walk out of a room I just finished cleaning, the mess fairies deposit a new layer! Anyway, your real life posts always help me feel a zillion times better about myself & my house. Thanks for the reminder that spending time with the people you love & doing the things you love (like redecorating!) sometimes means having a less than perfect house.
I commented earlier to thank you but I just wanted to add another thought. Just after our fourth baby was born my Moms of Preschoolers (MOPS) group set up a meal schedule to have meals delivered to our family for a couple of weeks to make things “easier”. However on the days that meals were to be delivered I spent so much time cleaning, prepping and keeping my kids from messing up my immaculate home (did I mention part of my quartet includes three year old twin boys) that it was EXHAUSTING. It would have been so much easier just to cook the meals myself! And all this keeping up appearances is for women that I love, who love me, and who literally spent less than five minutes in my house per meal drop off. It’s like my crazy knows no bounds. You’re post is the therapy I needed.
What a great post – and oh-so-timely! I had to laugh at you saying your house isn’t dirty, but not all clean all at the same time. That really sums it up for me, and is so true. After all, if you’re focusing on something, something else must be getting messed up, right? (At least when there are kids in the house). And WHAT is up with all of the cups that kids go through each day?!? Ditto here. Glad it’s not just me. ;-) Thanks for the levity.
Thank you for this post! It is nice to remember that people who write blogs are real people with the same messes I have. I do enjoy reading this blog and seeing the lovely pictures you post. Your house has exactly the feel that I would love mine to have someday, so calm and peaceful.
I can SO relate to you!
I don’t think I have ever left a comment….but this post spoke to my heart!!! Thank you! I love all you photos of your home. Thanks for being real.
Ok, I love this post!!! Every single WISE word.
My boyfriend is the messy one in our relationship and sometimes it drives me up the wall because before we got together I lived on my own for a couple of years and the house was immaculate. So immaculate that friends said it looked more like a show home than a home. Now that I am with my wonderfully, albeit messy, boyfriend, I’ve learned to relax – a little. At the start of our relationship I was forever picking up after him and getting frustrated with the mess, but then I realised I was needlessly upsetting myself because in all reality the house doesn’t need to look perfect all the time.
I’m still working towards that goal of not caring about a little mess here and there though, I guess I’m a recovering neat freak. The good thing though is that it’s freeing in many ways and learning to cope with mess has helped my stress levels.
Oh my, sorry for the long rambling comment (my first one here). I’ve been a long time reader but just wanted to say I admire your honesty and wish I was more like you. Beautiful blog by the way. I’ve already got lots of inspiration from it.
I am SO not a crier, but THIS POST? Made me. Thank you so much for your honesty. I have been beating myself up all day and feeling like a failure as I have tried and tried to clean and organize my house to the specs I have floating around in my mind thanks to my weakness for home blogs and a husband who works with men whose wives are all apparently type-A domestic goddesses. I NEEDED TO SEE THIS. You blessed me today, and I’m going to show this post to my husband so he knows he’s not the only husband with a wife who lets clothes stay on the floor more than thirty seconds.
A thousand times, thank you.
A friend sent me a quote of yours today via email. I had never visited your blog before now. We recently had a conversation about presentable homes and feeling that we couldn’t invite others over at times because the home was never “clean” enough. I felt when I was reading your last two main paragraphs that you wrote it for me. VERY well said. I am going to link you on my blog this week. I think so many others need to here this as well.
my house is a mess right now and totally stressing me out. it is to the point that i need to have a major clean out and get rid of stuff, but that thought makes me hyperventilate! I can’t seem to get moving and get cleaning…I have an obsession with holding on to everything. Never really knew I was a pack rat until I got married to a man who needs order and organization. God has a sense of humor! hopefully with this sunshine streak we are having I can get into a little pre-spring fever cleaning and organizing.! Love your blog and this post! :)
i’m a recovering neat FREAK. i appreciate this post, the pictures, the real. i’m learning to live in the real. to change my perspective, lower my standards. it’s good.
and yeah, what’s with all the cup usage!
Ya’ know I was just thinking about this very subject this week. I’m kinda’ neurotic, you know when friends come over sometimes they’re like “wow do any kids even live here?”. I was raised to clean up my mess first and do fun stuff later. But now it’s like I don’t ever get to do fun stuff because the house is rarely totally picked up because I’m not the only person that lives here! So just the other day I came to this conclusion….If a house were meant to look perfect it would mean no one “lived” there and what’s the fun in that? Whew! Load off my shoulders!
I love your blog and just did dropcloth window mistreatments for my bedroom and dining room – love them!!!
Love this post. You are my “it doesn’t have to be perfect” muse… cause, despite the fact that I am creative, I’m pretty sure it DOES need to be perfect. {oh dear}
sigh.
But, I am still on the 10 step program.
Step one, keep reading The Nesting Place…
I love how you say your house should work for you. true story.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
-{darlene}
fieldstonehilldesign.com
It’s clean enough. I’ve been married 15 years and feel like I’m finally finding balance and what works for us. My goals are a lot like yours: to have a home that’s inviting and workable and to be able to tidy up each room in 10-20 minutes. But oh, there are times when one room (or five) get catastrophic. Homeschooling will do that.
Wow! What a timely post this is. Just today I threw my hands in the air and said, “I give up!” This makes me feel so much better. I look at these beautiful blog posts and think, “why can’t I keep my house looking that great all the time?” I guess I need to realize that ain’t happening. Thanks for keepin’ it real!
So glad my home is not the only one that is “lived in.” I love this post! :) I love your definition of home!
This post is an instant favorite for me! Love it & so true! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!
LOVE the fact that you keep it real! Even though I know everyone is human, we don’t normally see messy houses on blogs, and I love to see that even the most perfect looking houses are not “perfect” all the time. Seriously, it’s only me and my hubs but if I cleaned all the time (in addition to my day job), then I REALLY wouldn’t get anything done. I’m like you: My house is rarely sparkling clean, but it’s not nasty dirty. Just messy :)
Posts like this are why I love you – always keeping it real, not trying to make your home staged to perfection. This is the perfect post for your tagline. It truly doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Your home is beautiful *because* it isn’t perfect. It’s a place that looks cozy and welcoming.
xo
Goodness, I loved this post! No matter what the photos on our blogs look like, the reality is that all of our houses look pretty much the same most days (unless you’re one of those crazy neat freaks). I’m definitely in the process of learning to let go of what doesn’t really matter. Little things can drive me CRAZY but I am trying to realize my house is NEVER going to be neat–but for good reason, I suppose :)
Hope you have a good day,
Emily
I would feel so at home there. What a lovely post~I think you just lifted a weight off of thousands of shoulders. xo
Seriously! Guilty of being a messy creative type, too. When I have a guest 20 minutes from my house I find that to be the best time for cleaning, and only during the time the guest is here does our house appear to be immaculate (just don’t open the door of the 3rd bedroom or master bathroom!).
Love your blog. My favorite pillow color is the Walk in Grace pillow cover. I unfortunately only have 4 pillows (the ones that came with my couch and loveseat).I would love to win so that I could add some more color to my living room. I look forward to your blog. Keep up the good work!
I probably have 20…that all get used. All the time. That’s a lot, isn’t it??
While I am a bit of a neat freak, I have gotten more relaxed over the years. We have 5 kids (ages 15, 14 (nearly), 12, 7 and 2)…and I homeschool. Needless to say it can be a circus! Imagine my laundry, for instance. I do make my kids clean up every day, no exceptions, and they are good about it. But it’s a constant battle and balancing act. I make my bed every morning, tidy up for each new day, but in a matter of hours it can be a tornado if I don’t stay on top of it. I hate clutter, and I throw out anything that I don’t have need of in the immediate future….which hubby doesn’t appreciate ;) I am the antithesis of a pack rat. By the way, I adore your dining room, honey! I think it was perfect the way it was….but have fun redecorating…can’t wait to see what you do with it!
I had another thought to go along with your post about REAL life. I’m not a blogger, I don’t have the time for it, but I do occasionally like to peek in on *other people’s homes* for inspiration. I’ve been in the Interior Design and Antiques business for years, so designing and thrifting is my passion. I do think, however, that there is a real tendency to make one’s home a “shrine”, an “idol”, if you will. Women have to be very careful not to be forever discontented with their homes, “always looking for that next home improvement project.” There is a lot of covetousness taking place in this country. First she spies a great room in a magazine, on HGTV, or some fancy blog~the next thing you know she’s looking around at her home with it’s “SO 2009 FURNISHINGS”, and she is discontented. Some women, especially stay~at~home moms (I am one, so I know) make their home the #1 priority, (which it should not be) so they make it their mission to be ever about the business of “home improvement”. It starts out with just wanting to paint a room…but then the curtains don’t look just right, so it’s off Home Goods for new curtains. And the next thing you know she wants to re-do the entire main living area, so it all “coordinates”. It’s one thing after another. When will we be satisfied? How much of our husbands hard earned money will we spend before we say “ENOUGH”? Why are women exhausting themselves competing with magazines, HGTV, and even fellow bloggers for who can have the prettiest room? That is not reality. YOUR FAMILY IS.
Our house oscillates between a tolerable level of mild clutter and full blown tornado destruction. I used to be really hard on myself and it took me awhile to realize that our tidiness is pretty decent considering that we reside in a 400 sq. ft. frog with one teensy closet to hide stuff in. I know that most often an orderly home isn’t more than 15 minutes away and that allows me the guilty pleasure of starting more than one project at once. P.S. Loved the 31 days series from last fall!
Real homes are REALLY lived in. Messes are “signs of life” and I’m all for life in my home. When the kids were Littles, we always had 10 minute pick-ups. I set the timer and everybody had to help pick up and put things away until the timer dinged. Worked great! Some days we had 3 or 4 pick-ups!
I love how you’re keepin’ it real.
Jody
I love reading your blog and how you keep things so real. Being a mom, farmwife, working part-time and trying to do the things I enjoy… is there really any time for cleaning??? I try to keep our nest picked up and organized (I actually just found your blog during your 30 days to a less messy nest and loved reading it!!) but honestly, I’m not going to clean over painting a piece of furniture or sewing new pillows or repainting the bathroom! Those are the things I love and I think my our nest so much more happy. Dust??? it will be there the next day no matter how long you clean! thanks for helping us creative people realize we have to fall short somewhere!
Our house looks like that most of the time. With 2 adults, a pregnancy, 3 full time kids, 3 part time kids, a 45kg moulting german shepherd and 2 cats it c an be chaotic!
I always used to feel bad when I was bloghopping, as everyones houses were spotless……but now more people are showing the other side, I dont feel so bad!
I read this post, sitting here thinking (and saying out loud) Yes! That’s right! Me, too! I have gone from the “my house must be impeccable” or I am a failure and comparing my house to others to right where you are (and where my heart was all along), which is desiring a HOME, where people feel comfortable, can kick their shoes off and stay awhile and not feel intimidated or uncomfortable. Hospitality is next to Godliness to me, not Cleanliness! Not to mention the fleeting time we have to spend with our children while they are young and still want to play with US. Thanks for your wonderful blog!
lovely pillows. i have a slight obsession with them myself.
Thank you! This post means more that words could say!
Love this post. It inspired me to take a hard look at my “tidiness” and I even posted about it!
I actually came here for some encouragement on the homemaking front. I’ve got two boys, 1 and 2 and they are really gifted at making messes faster than I can clean them. On top of that I’m kind of messy myself – mostly I think it’s my hoarder tendencies that do it. I have a lot of stuff that I like to collect, but not enough spaces for it. So! My place is really messy, and I’m hoping I can make myself get rid of some stuff and get things a little more under control soon. :)
I grew up in a family of 9 children, yes truly, and our house was never tidy, always clean like germy clean, but not exactly tidy. I happened to marry a man who absolutely needs a tidy house to function. It has taken me a long time to realize that it really IS something that helps HIM to feel more comfortable and at home. So with two children and a large yellow lab, our house is really clean, so clean that my sisters make fun of me, but I don’t find it stifling, sterile, or uncomfortable. I am happy to know that I am keeping a home that my husband can truly relax in. I was so grateful for your post, because of your honesty. You mentioned several times that if your husband felt differently than things would probably be different. Oh and by the way, I agree, I think that your dog DID just propose to him :)
Thanks so much for sharing this! I’m trying to learn the perfect messiness that I can be comfortable with- I felt like I had everything together & how I wanted it- then we moved and had another child & things are still crazy!
Love a little dose of reality, right? You are reminding me not to worry because right now in my life/home there are some pros: new carpet AND cons: all my furniture in my first floor is crammed up against my kitchen island. I’m hanging on to the coming weekend when I can move my furniture back and enjoy a new fresh room. Kids, dogs, family….is more important and beautiful than an impeccable house. Have a great weekend~Chris Ann
Where’s the Like button?
Thanks for writing this! I, too, have a tolerance level, and I, too, have a husband who doesn’t complain. He was much neater before I brought him to the dark side. :)
Great blog! Thanks for being so open. Keep up the good work!
I am so in love with the fact that you wrote this and posted the pictures! I feel soooo much better knowing I’m not the only one that ALWAYS has a picture perfect house! <3 !