I love that painted white thing that hangs on our mantel. I’ve dropped it 87 times. It’s broken. In more than one place. I like to think of the cracks and chips as beauty marks. Marks that prove the item is loved just like the Velveteen Rabbit.
You don’t really notice it when it’s surrounded by other specimens of beautiful imperfection.
Someone will now email me and tell me that all I need to do is paint that broken part white and no one will ever notice. I will tell them they missed the whole point of this post.
I see these chairs as a reminder of beauty yet to come. Have you ever noticed that there are 4 different colored half painted chairs at our table? Probably not. I haven’t decided what color I want them yet. Dinners still taste just as good with half painted chairs. Instead of feeling dread that I have not completed that project, I look forward to decideding what color I want them and enjoying the finished product. And for the time being, I truly don’t mind to have them look like this.
see them? you are too busy looking at that crow, aren’t you?
This half painted wall is your classic case of procrastination. Sometimes I wish imperfect things would bother me MORE.
This coffee table has seen all manner of toys scooted around on its surface.
But I don’t really notice the scratches and such when I’m not dwelling on them.
Even the manager at Home Goods told me not to purchase this cracked lamp. I had been looking for months for a pair of large white lamps and I wasn’t gonna let something like a little crack hold me back. Now I can feel less guilty when I crack it on the other side.
Insisting on perfection can cause us to stop and get nothing accomplished. Nothing is so much worse than something done good enough. Of course, we can apply this to anything from housekeeping, to business running.
What does accepting beauty marks have to do with Less Messy Nestiness?
You tell me.
This is great…I’m also not a perfectionist. I’d probably never be happy with anything and wouldn’t ever get anything done if I was! I’ve met many a messy, sad looking houses that had perfectionists living in them. When the kids make a mess, I make THEM clean it up and I don’t re-do what they’ve done (unless it’s really bad). It won’t be perfect, but that’s OK.
I have to say I love your cracked/broken white things on your mantle it has SOO much life showing in it, and the scratches on the table just show the love and life lived, Now the half painted chairs, I think painting each one the rest of the way in would be so cute (but really loving the 2 end chairs). I am really trying to just let be good enough, well, good enough. I am learning so much from you on how to love my house and really make it a home with what I have and stop wanting better or different. Thank you so much for sharing.
Great post. Ok, so I also have unfinished projects, which I find myself apologizing for…tisk, tisk. No more! I will make an effort to feel pride in my home, ‘finished’ or not, in its perfection and imperfection. It doesn’t matter that I too have half painted walls, or spindles that have been missing from a rail for 2 years, waiting to be painted. It is ok that there is permanent marker graffiti courtesy of my 3 year old, on my office walls, that won’t come out without repainting. I will even embrace the “I just am keeping this furniture until the kids are a bit older, then buying nice stuff”, and maybe dress it up with a nice throw, or cute pillows so that I actually enjoy it more.
OH, the half painted wall is so me! Also, I’ve been known to leave paint swatches taped up for months. I stop noticing them.
With two little ones I have finally realized that something is better than nothing! Work in progress is the motto around here. :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Exactly what I needed to hear today living in our 1800′s farm house with a general contractor husband and pretty much projects going in each room (some day we will have curtains in our bedrooms). I have been missing the great original characteristics that originally had drawn us to this home while being paralyzed by all that “needed to be done”. Again, THANK YOU.
I drool over your photos and home and although I am not there, I am working on it and it is good enough until I get there. Then there will be the next change. It is about the journey. The memories. I bet you enjoy what you do with your home. I bet your boys will fondly remember eating at the table with partially painted different colored chairs. Everything we do is part of the journey and at the end that is all that matters. How we felt, not the perfection or lack of. Whew! I almost feel like I covet some of your home. Thanks for bursting the illusion and showing me that you have imperfection just like me. It let’s me know that anything is possible. Decide what you like and love the journey! You are all that! Thanks for the inspiration.
When things get scratched or dinged at our home, I call it the story of the house. I look at teh marks on the floors and doors and think about all the previous people and things and events that may have caused them. It gives our 1900′s home soul. Its 100 years old, it shouldn’t look like the inside of a newly built home.
Thank you. Thank you. Reading your blog doesn’t stress me out!
Great post! Those little things are the things that say, “a family lives here “.
Lovely post! Sometimes I spend so much time looking at the beauty marks I miss the great BIG huge mess that is making my home look messy… Priorities huh?
I say let the cracks fly, besides, you ALWAYS get a better deal!
Imperfection is another word for LESS-STRESS!
Keep it going Nester! Love it!
-denise
I have those exact chairs and I can’t wait to see what you decide to paint them. They are my curse. Our first real dining set and the chairs are so heavy they are hard to move, the kids get hurt on them all the time, and every little speck of oatmeal, milk, etc showes up with flashers on. I feel like I’m always scrubbing those chairs. I’ve thought about slipcovers but its just another project added to the list :)
I’ve really enjoyed this series and you have so many great tips! Thank you for all the hard work on this blog you are really helping us young SAHM’s on a budget with little time.
best post i’ve read in a long time. and i feel very “free-d” by it. I was looking at the scratches and water marks on my coffee table last night and thinking, i should really do something about that. one day maybe. one day.
I have five different yellows/pale cream colors in my MAIN entry hall – it has been that way over six months – a perfectionist I am NOT.
What does accepting beauty marks have to do with Less Messy Nestiness?
It frees your time and imagination to be creative. It allows things to be good enough because they’re being used and loved. It proves that pristine and perfect are not only near-unattainable goals, but may not even be as comfortable as a few scratches, dents and cracks. Which is more comfy anyway-the brand new hard leather sofa or the old one that has a nice comfy dent in it from many tooshes over the years, and worn leather that’s soft in all the right places?
I’m in the midst of painting all the doors and wood trim in my house white. My house used to belong to a family with 7 kids, so the woodwork, while good quality, has seen some rough wear. Am I using wood filler? Yes. Am I concerned with making the place look new again? Oh heavens no! LOL! I just want to brighten the old girl up, the wood stain is much too dark for the house, she just BEGS to have pale walls with white trim! Yes, I could replace it all, but I’d never get wood of this quality again, and what I have painted takes so nicely to painting as it’s actual hard wood and is fine grained-even the veneer on the door is the same kind of wood. I’ve got two of the doors almost done and they’re nice looking. I’ve filled in most of where the veneer got peeled off at the bottom, but it doesn’t look perfect-meh, I could care, it faces into the laundry room. It’s better than it was, and frankyl looking brand new wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the house. It’s all a little worn, but it’s comfy, and getting more so by the day. I’m happy with not perfect, perfect is much too much like work to maintain.
Hi I can’t see your pictures… It’s a shame as your article is looks good but kind of incomplete without illustrations… Do you know how I can fix that?
Thanks.
yes, when in doubt download firefox–are you using a different really old browser?
I haven’t heard anyone else having problems? Anyone? Are my photos gone? I think I would have a hundred emails if my photos weren’t showing so my guess is that it’s on your end but, for all I know I’ve crashed the internet.
So sorry!
LOVE your post today! (Okay, every day!) The little imperfections are just the footprints of life and show the love that has been dropped all over our earthly belongings. People actually PAY MONEY to have things looking aged, so we’re ahead of the game by not fixing them! They help us celebrate passages and should be treasured. Let’s all enjoy our broken and repaired (repeatedly), scuffed up, worn-out-looking treasures as little reminders of grace.
Thanks for this post today. I needed it. My mom always called imperfections “character”.
Sorry, I know this is a long post (and now two of them!) But I hit submit before I was done explaining myself.
I’m using what I have, even though it isn’t perfect. I’m making it work, and I’m happy with the result. I don’t know if it creates less mess for me personally, but on a local scale, it certainly puts a lot less into a landfill. I’m not ripping off all the trim, exposing the framework of the house and letting out all that dust-I’m just doing a bit of sanding and painting. So, much less mess there.
I think a lot of using what you have, even if it’s a little banged up, is important for the entire planet. I don’t know if I read it here, but once I read that you have to think that every single item you buy will one day be trash. Fewer belongings certainly means less trash, and less trash definitely means less messy nests.
You’ve really got me thinking with this series, Miss Nester!
LOVE this post. Learning to be at peace with the imperfections of *things* in my house frees me to LIVE and BE in my home without worry that my stuff is going to get damaged or broken. I am so much more concerned that my family and friends feel free and comfortable to use and touch things in my home than I am with things looking unblemished and brand-spanking-new. Nothing in my house (okay, ALMOST nothing) is so precious that a little ding here and there causes me stress. Part of that, I know, is that I don’t spend a lot of money on stuff. I buy furniture at Goodwill for a song and fix it up myself. The less money I invest in STUFF, the less I feel compelled to invest time in keeping that stuff spotless. Which in turn leaves me more time to invest in the things I really love: creating things and spending time with my family and friends.
So much of my work life has been change focused, I’ve definitely adopted it too much in my personal life. “If only-itis” is what my husband started calling it – as in, if only: the flower arrangement had some nice rocks in the bottom, the flower beds had fresh mulch, the beds were all made at one time on any given day, I’d had time to make pico de gallo instead of picking some up….and on and on and on and on and on. It’s a drag to be around someone like that, trust me, I was pretty much sick of myself.
Imperfect – that’s everything. Excellence? – definitely worth striving for, if it’s what gets your groove on. Content enough to enjoy the point of it, whether or not a project is finished before a party? – priceless. We’re having a neighborhood party here on the 30th, and I keep reminding myself that I’ve invited people so that we can celebrate each other, not so they can celebrate my furniture. A less messy spirit – that’s my goal, this time.
This is why I love having a used car with a few dings and imperfections. What, a shopping cart hit it? Oh, well! :)
I love stopping by here. I can feel the stress just slipping away when I read your posts. You make me so comfortable in my own skin (home). That’s a gift, dear heart. Thank you for using that gift to uplift and encourage others.
Thanks Nester! Needed to hear that!
Loving the imperfections for me goes along sometimes with messiness but I’m telling you accepting the messiness along with the imperfections makes for soooooooo much more peace in your home!
Your walls look like my walls, almost done but not quite. My family still giggles and lives life with all these unfinished projects. I know what you mean though about being able to check stuff off the list :)
Great post! I have the same kitchen chairs as you. I never thought about painting them! Hmmm.
As i was sitting in our family room last night, i was looking at our coffee table and thinking how beat up its been looking, and then i started thinking of all the little things like kitchen table having a million scrathces on it, a few dinner plates that have chips in them, dried flowers that have been knocked enough times that i should really throw them away but just can’t, hand prints up the stairway walls, little “sneaky” marks on the kids furniture from the kids drawing on them…really??
sometimes, i get a little frustrated with the wear and tear of our home, but i think that i would rather have it this way, then to have it perfect and always be fussing with them to not touch this or don’t play with your toys on that…years from now, when my kids are grown, all of those marks and scratches will be great reminders and memories of when they were young.
The same could be said about our bodies. Our imperfections and sometimes scars, make us who we are. I have a scar on my finger that reminds me of a sweet time with my now deceased Daddy. I have a scar on my ankle that is from my favorite cousin, who also passed away too soon. When I was a teenager, they bothered me but now they are precious. Scars remind us of life.
LOVE IT!!!
I have beauty marks everywhere that emit grown from deep within me each time I look at them. I am going to work very hard on embracing them now. Thank you so much, Nester!
I secretly want to go back through old posts and see if I can spot your beauty marks now that you’ve pointed them out. hee hee hee
Please tell me where you purchased your “4 different colored halfpainted chairs” and the bench (painted white) that matches?!? I love them!
Nester, O Wise One,
You eloquently bring into perspective that ‘doing life’ is not a rat race.
When led by God we are able to live in the moment, being content with what He has blessed us with, content with what we have.
For me, contentedness means gratefulness. That whatever state I am in, to be content there, as a form of praise, worship, and gratitude back to Him. That what He provides is more than enough. Sufficiency through Christ.
How does this apply to housekeeping?
-I don’t sweat stains on the kids’ clothing. I let them wear it again for play, and figure if I dry in the sun every time I launder, eventually the stains will fade out. They almost always do.
-I actually enjoy cute little hand (or nose) prints on my windows. And if I choose to wash them, I don’t sweat streaks (they used to bug me)
-I let the little kids help me w/ housework. I try to teach them to put things in the right places, or not miss smudgy parts while wiping, but I don’t worry. I figure what little things gets missed this time will get done the next time they go ’round.
My problem is actually that I’m too relaxed. I actually need to tighten up this ship a bit. I want to have a pop-in ready home like yours (when your sister wanted to come). Not perfect, but good enough that I don’t stress the hour before they show up.
Ha! I’m so glad to see I’m not the only with this problem. My hutch that I painted has so many chips on top because we didn’t varnish it properly, but I sort of like how it’s chipped nicely over time. It totally looks like I did it on purpose. Great post.
I have actually noticed your dining chairs a lot, I just thought you were going for the Pottery Barn effect… :)
i have the personality of it has to be done now! thank you for reminding me it’s okay to take your time. have a great day!
i wish i had more of a…”i need to finish this project now!” but i don’t, i have a half-finished stairwell painted, half a slipcover on a chair and we have guests coming in today. i’m not really stressed about it at all. i’m just making sure the bathrooms are clean and they have clean sheets on their beds. thanks for making me feel normal.
I like it when things are imperfect. Otherwise a house starts to feel like a museum. And that’s not really the point of a house, is it?
(By the way, I like the blue for the dining room chairs.)
Fantastic post! I am really enjoying this series.
That turquoise chair is the exact color I want to paint mine! Love it. Would you mind sharing the paint name?
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I struggle with this all the time. You have taken a weight off my shoulders.
It’s like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life” – he couldn’t have been happier when the banister finial ball came off in his hand.
It’s about recognizing that it’s YOUR home. You know the quirks and personality of YOUR home. It’s a matter of acceptance. Great reminder!
You just inspired me to finish a few projects that have been sitting around for far too long. The reason I haven’t finished them – - – wait for it – - – fear of it not turning out PERFECT! I would be much happier having the stack of cool black frames up on my wall – imperfectly – instead of in a stack on my fireplace hearth – where they have been for the past 3 months! Thanks for reminding us that a “home” isn’t the perfect pictures that you see in a magazine, but the place where real life happens!
Love your cracked lamp. When my toddler is playing on the couch, she’ll often stop and look at my lamp and say “No break Mommy’s lamp. Make her cry!” lol
Probably true, but I’d get over it. And I’d rather have her playing and maybe end up with a broken lamp than try to protect my decorations.
You are so right! Not everything has to be perfect in order for it to be beautiful :)
Absolutely love this post. There is so much beauty in imperfections! I find, too, that I feel more comfortable in homes where there is wear and tear and cracks and scratches. It feels like people actually live there, that you can truly feel at home. The straight-out-of-a-magazine look is nice and provides a nice thing to strive for, but I like homes that look well-loved more. :-)
I remember when we got our first coffee table. I think my boys were 3 and 6. I didn’t have that darned thing for 4 hours before it was scratched up. I couldn’t believe it and I was terribly disappointed, apologizing to anyone who saw it.
Well, it’s been 8 years, and I still have that coffee table, scratches and all. And it’s okay. Once I got over the fact that it wasn’t going to be perfect, I was free to let my boys use it as a train table and run their cars all over it.
Maybe someday I’ll paint it or try to get the scratches out, but for now, it’s just a great workhorse in our house that we love, scratches and all.
oh great post!
I have several things around the house I love too much to not enjoy just because there is a crack or chip – I usually just turn it around, put something in front of it . . .etc :)
Just noticed that we have the same chairs – I am totally going to wait until you decide what paint color you like the best and then go with that !- thanks for making my life so easy!!!
xoxo Dee
I can’t tell you how many times I said, “Me too!” in my head while reading this. (Well, I probably could, but I’m too lazy to go back and count ‘em.) I have beautiful broken and cracked and mismatched and partly spackled and partly painted and otherwise incomplete things that I love.
For me, loving those things as they are helps my nest have less mess because I can focus on functional beauty instead of perfection. When I focus on getting the house and life perfect – which, by the way, ain’t gonna happen – that’s when the clutter starts piling up in other places. I focus on the little things that don’t need fixing right now, and I neglect the stuff that needs love and direction (including both the house *and* the little ones).
We’re all works in progress with scars from real life. So are our nests.
I love that your coffee table is scuffed, although mine is looking much worse for the wear. My oldest once decided to “distress” it for me by taking a black Sharpie to the sides when she was 2 or so. Her father left the marker out, so he couldn’t get too upset. It’s so classy looking….