What would you do differently in your home if you knew no one would ever see it but the people who live there? No neighbors who always have the newest furniture would be stopping in, no family that seems to silently judge, no designer friends you feel like you have to impress? How would you decorate if no one were looking?
More importantly, why aren’t you doing that now?
I’d honestly have to say that….I DO THAT NOW! It all began a few days shy of exactly 2 1/2 years ago … when I did my first mistreatment after visiting Nesting Place. Wow, the liberation…I’ve been on a high ever since… haha!
I would white wash all my wood furniture and slipcover the rest. I love all off-white cream living areas. I had that a few years ago and let someone talk me into adding color to my life. I wish I had my “white” back. I’m a florial designer and get tired of color all the time. When I’m home I like no color to deal with.
I think I just talked myself into it!! The wheels are turning now!! Thanks for getting me started!!
Hands down, get rid of chotchkies that family members have given us and I feel obliged to keep b/c they live nearby. It’s like being waterboarded, except with ugly stuff.
Ha! I live 7 hours from all my family and just recently donated all my ‘chotchkies’ as you call them…they hardly ever visit and will never know ;-)
It was so very liberating!!!
Janet
The Empty Nest
Amanda, and anyone else who suffers from well intentioned gifts,you MUST go here:
http://simplemom.net/spring-cleaning-week-4-common-roadblocks-to-decluttering/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+simplemom+%28Simple+Mom%29&utm_content=Google+Reader
and read point #2.
It is truth
Hate me for the crazy link here’s what Simple Mom says about the excuse that we have all used called
“I can’t get rid of it because someone gave it to me and if they don’t see it in my house they will be mad/sad/insert bad emotion”
“Underlying message behind this belief: I’m going to prioritize someone else’s conditional happiness, even if it hinders my family’s overall well-being. Also — Relationships depend on stuff.”
I
My mom comes in and says, “where’s that thingamabob I gave you? You didn’t give it away did you?!” Really?! I just act confused and say it’s probably in a cabinet somewhere. I lie.
I’d order my hardwood floors with the stripe in them that I always wanted without thinking about resale or what someone else might say. Oh wait. I’ve got the bid here on my desk and I’ve just got to call the guy! :) YAY! I’m so excited to see what they’ll look like “in real life” and not just in mind. :)
Well, since you’re asking…:O) When I have the money to either purchase the tools (for me) or the handyman (My handman is a city-guy who thinks Lowes is a dangerous place) I am so going to change my formal dining room into a library/music room.
We really don’t use the dining room. Of course as I’m saying that I’m hosting a dessert/wine party Saturday. However, even then we won’t be sitting at the table.
I want two walls of built-in floor to ceiling book shelves. Add some lighting to the shelves so I can also display stuff. The funny thing about all of this is that my dining room is red, I deplore it, but won’t paint it until I have the built-ins because I see the painting as a major chore…covering all that red! At that time there will be a little less paint to have to cover.:O)
Anyone interested in “build the shelves” blog party?
Honestly, the only thing I would probably do differently in my home, if it weren’t for neighbors AND MY MOTHER seeing things, is to leave my son’s towels all over his floor until he completely ran out and had to come out of the shower slightly frozen. Anything to make him pick up the darn towels! LOL! …But then there’s my mother in my head….
Great post–I love reading everyone’s points of view!
~Misti
Uh, I was so excited about your post I forgot to answer your question. I would incorporate more thrift store furniture I have painted, altered, etc. Almost everyone I know is of the “new is better” mindset, and I know the thought of thrift stores/garage sales/estate sales gives them the willies. I get self conscious and I shouldn’t, especially since I love it.
i would use walmart sacks for trash bags in the bathrooms. ;)
I must be super tacky. I don’t think I’ve ever used a real trash bag in bathroom trash cans. ;)
It’s garbage! Who cares?!
-WOW- What a great post! I can honestly say, that despite the fact that I covet ALL things that you (Mrs. Nester) do, I live in a VERY boring home. I only worry about what it looks like before someone comes over or when they show up unannounced. I would love to have a home that was warm and inviting like so many of the blogs I read (especially yours!). I so want my house to “fit” my family. Maybe in a strange way, it does. I need to think more about this one. By far, one of my favorite posts!
I like the way I decorate. It suits us and my family says our house is warm and the place they want to be. But I’ve just spent the summer trying to make an ugly old parsonage into a “warm house where they want to be”. If I could change anything it would be to rip out the horribly dirty berber carpet and paint the cheap paneling in the dining room. However, I did paint a couple of rooms and a bathroom cabinet. So there, parsonage committee!! lol I’ve been told that I cannot paint the paneling, so I’ve tried to cover it up instead by making the room look kinda’ like Cracker Barrel with all my antiques/junk. It makes me happy to see my things around me every day.
I’ve been reading your blog all spring and summer for inspiration and ideas and my favorite one has been to use what I have. I’ve changed things around to different rooms from where I usually use them in houses we’ve lived in and I like the changes. And I’ve been inspired to do some painting (the bathroom cabinet and light fixture, for one).
For me, it’s really all about contentment. I’ve spent some time pitching a hissy-fit about this house, but it boils down to being contented with what God has provided for me, which is sometimes a struggle, but the right thing for me to do. (Sorry, I don’t mean for this to sound preachy at all – hope it doesn’t come across that way. I’m preaching to myself here.)
Well I’m getting there-I finally, FINALLY, convinced the husband that the gorgeous rug from Turkey could, actually, go ON THE FLOOR. Sadly, years of sitting in dusty and sometimes damp closets, all rolled up, have caused it to obtain some stains and crud so it needs cleaning-not cheap with actual Oriental wool and silk rugs. But it’s still gorgeous and absolutely glows, even with a dirty face.
Other than that, I would have bookcases that close entirely so that there is no visual clutter anywhere. I love smooth uncluttered surfaces, minimal but beautiful artwork or art objects, and comfy furniture.
Why not do it-money and husband! LOL! I haven’t got the money to even replace the falling apart loveseat and chair that don’t work in the room, and I have to live with the husband who has a hoarder for a mom and who loves his trinkets. We have more than I want, but many fewer than his natural inclination would allow. Sometimes ya just gotta compromise…
Money and vision. That’s why I don’t. I’d change things up in a heartbeat if I knew what to do, and had the funds to do it. I even WON $1,000 to decorate with and just felt at a standstill. I felt this pressure to decorate THE ENTIRE house with $1,000 and knew I couldn’t do it. And then felt guilty because I knew there were women out there that could.
As far as keeping things because someone gave them to you-I’m not sure that’s ever a good idea. MIL has some figurines from a friend that passed away, and rather than remembering her friendship, all she remembers is how resentful she felt toward the friends family when she was only given a few moments to select the pieces she wanted. Is it really worth having if all it does is make you unhappy when you think about it?
….being the woman who had family members carve their initals into the kitchen table …let me be the old person here who tells all of you sweet young things…it is your house…do what it takes to make it a home for your family…and do it NOW…
laney…you’re awesome
I am doing it now, I decorate for my hubby and myself. I have no decorating friends, my friends and neighbors all think I am an amazing decorator, I laugh behind my hand when they say that, but it means that I am not pressured by ANYONE to decorate in any certain way. And I’m glad.
I already do what I want to do in my own home. I don’t care about resale value, or if anyone else likes my style or not. I love my home, and I love the way it looks, and that is all that matters. I think too many people today care too much about what the future owner will think. Who cares!! Enjoy your home, and make it yours!
I already do what I want to do in my own home. I don’t care about resale value, or if anyone else likes my style or not. I love my home, and I love the way it looks, and that is all that matters. I think too many people today care too much about what other people like and what people will think if they ever decide to sell. Who cares?!! Enjoy your home, and make it yours!
Great post! We are doing this now. Red entry way, gold kitchen, orange dining room, chocolate brown family and it goes on. We are the weird people that pulled up our carpet and paint our floors. The people at Lowe’s just don’t get that. ha! We love color and we’re not afraid to use it. Thank goodness that sweet man is on board to help!
I totally agree. It is hard to get that “but if we do this or that, then is it good for re-sale” out of my mind too. I know we won’t be in the house we are in forever, so I tend to be very cognizant of what will help it sell when that time comes. I finally had to tell myself that WE live here NOW and if someone loves our home, then they will love our style. Great post! I needed a reminder :)
I would paint my wood floors. Bright pink. And if I ever buy a house, I just might do it. I just think that bright high gloss floors might look amazing!
Hi Nester! I’ve been doing that ever since I quit my blog! No need to think of things to show online… life it’s been very simple! I love it!
I’ve been known around my neighborhood to be the “rebellious” one. I don’t care what’s “in” or what’s “right”…I have to live here!! We recently pulled up the carpet on our back steps and painted them chocolate brown and I LOVE them!! It’s funny…my girlfriends come over and say…”why didn’t I think of that” and “oh, I have to do that”.
Bean bag chairs in every room for sure!!!
Cindy
We’re renters, too. I always imagine that if I owned this house, I would knock down the wall between the kitchen and the living room. It would make my heart happy. I’m thinking the landlord would be less than pleased. :)
we are renters, but if we weren’t we would rip out the carpet and redo the hardwoods (we’ve asked to do it and they said NO), I’d rip out the kitchen and bathroom and start over. Then I would repaint ALL the walls in the living areas.
I’m sure this isn’t what you had in mind but secretly – I would clean my bathroom only once a month. Really, I can live with the nastyness – I only go in there to use it. I do my makeup & brush my teeth in my room (maybe cause it’s so messy). And my guest (and toddlers) bathroom I would clean probably less (cause I only use that to change his diapers and attempts @ potty training).
Oh & probably what you had more in mind – I would try my hand at artwork & display it. I guess I just don’t want people giving me that fake “oh that’s cute/nice” compliment once they realize it’s mine – thats why I’ve never done art. Cause I would (in my mind) be like ” you’re a liar, it looks like a child did it” or something.
Anyway, that’s my comment & I’m sticking to it.
@becky: We clean our bathrooms only twice a month. Hubby does it on the 15th and I do it on the last day of the month. Which means we each only clean the bathrooms ONCE A MONTH! Yay!
My parents have always kept their house immaculate, and the bathrooms were always cleaned at least once a week. After several years of struggling to maintain a once-a-week bathroom cleaning schedule in our home (and resenting every minute of it), it finally dawned on me that I was upholding someone else’s standard – not mine and my husband’s. I proposed our current twice a month schedule to hubby and he signed right up. We’ve been using this schedule for 6-8 months now, and the best part is that I don’t dread cleaning the bathroom anymore because I know I don’t have to do it again for a whole month.
Fabulous message! Though a few people are watching I do believe I’m decorating like no one is…I waited too long to have a house to do otherwise! Janell
look at all those comments…you struck a chord with this one! I am a designer so must say that I decorate my own home to suit my tastes and my family’s needs. I do not worry about impressing others. I enjoy coming home to my particular nest but I also enjoy visiting other homes and while I may not always agree with the decisions they have made I enjoy the fact that their home reflects who they are. Model homes are lovely to look at but not very practical. I want to walk into your home and see YOU, not some designer or replica of a neighbor. That is also my goal for all my clients…to create THEIR space,not mine.
It’s silly, but I would stop requiring my kids to make their beds… I mean who really cares if it’s made? Certainly their friends don’t care.
I would paint all my furniter neutral colors for a light and cottagey look. My husband thinks I’m nuts and hasn’t bought into my plan….I’m running out of convincing arguments……
how about it’s an inexpenisive, non life altering thing that would make his wife gleefully happy? :}
Sorry about furniture above…guess I should proof my comments before I submit them :P
I like your spelling of it better anyway.
I would get my office/sewing room organized! It’s been the dumping ground since we moved in a year ago!
I can honestly say I do that now!
But I have the luxury of being single (so no significant other to consider) and owning my own home (so no landlord to deal with).
Well said. I like to think that we do that now. =)
Great post Nester! I have enjoyed reading everyone’s responses. I definitely decorate for our home and our family, not for those who are visiting. I used to clean like a banshee before people came over, but I have stopped doing that. With kids, the house is a mess 10 minutes after guests come anyway, so I just clean after now :-)
You’re absolutely right! Great post. I’m in the middle of furnishing and trying to decorate me new empty home and have found myself stressed over what would look appropriate. Who cares! It needs to be about me! It’s my house anyway!
I would want to hang a rather large glossy picture of The Last Supper. My momma (religiously devoted catholic) gave me that when I got my very first house and I’m nervous about it going up in my new house afraid of the silent judgement from others.
And I think you would be judged…sad to say. I like that pic of the Last Supper, glossiness and all.
My main three concerns/worries, regarding the decor in my home:
1. I love to entertain and host people in our home. However, I realize that people will be less like to be entertained or to be hosted, if they are uncomfortable in our home. So I want our home to be comfortable for visitors.
2. We are in the process of getting licensed to provide foster care. I constantly worry about what the social workers will think when they walk in.
3. My parents are fairly judgmental of our lifestyle…good or bad. I worry about what they’ll think/say.
If I could wipe all of that out of my heart and mind and only focus on what God wants in my home?
We’d have a few very cheap pieces of essential furniture and storage. A few toys for the kids. Everything else would be sold, and the money would be used for evangelistic missions and our future adoptions.
I actually did this already. For years we’ve had a conversation space in our living room. I love the idea and it looked really nice, but it meant that we didn’t have a lot of open floor space for my 10 month old to play in. A month or two ago I moved all the furniture to the walls except the coffee table that she likes to pull up on. Now we have a big open space where she can play and I can watch her from the kitchen. It doesn’t look as nice, but if I know we are having company over just put the toys in a milk crate and move the chairs back right before they get here. I miss the quiet order of the old way, but the new way is so much easier, safer and more fun for her.
I just took a page from your book yesterday and changed a cabinet into something I love. I got tired of looking at it, and so I thought: “WWTND”? What Would The Nester Do? An you know what? It looks great! I am so happy, and I rearranged everything in it just for fun. I even put some things that I love away and will bring them out later. Shock!
Now, if I can just figure out how to mistreat the curtains and make them look the way that please ME I will be happy. Currently there is nothing there. I can’t sew a lick so this should be a challenge. Even if no one else was here to tell me what they liked and didn’t like, I still have to live up to my own taste level. I have pretty exacting standards, but I have always taken short cuts to get there if necessary. That really holds true when I am trying to live with champagne taste on a beer budget.
Love you Nester! Nest on!
Hmmm…
I would like to feel the stability of being in our “forever” home (the one that we’ll purchase, according to God’s plans if He wills it – as do our savings, LOL – in about 1 year) and able to paint my kitchen cabinets!!!!!!!! I can barely handle the photos of gorgeous kitchen redos here on the Web without sighing desperately over our beautiful, but builder grade, cabinets. Granted, I’m 200% thankful because our old house was 120 years old (don’t think charming, abandon notions of quiet old elegance here, LOL) and the kitchen reflected that. Let’s just say that our new house, which is new construction (a townhome, bless it!) was a total gift from our Jesus after living in a house that never really could have all of that 120 year old dirt scrubbed off the walls (brick walls in the kitchen…be still my heart how I wished we’d had the time and ability to paint them!!).
So, yes, a man’s heart may be found through his stomach, but mine as a woman definitely resides in the kitchen. I think that’s why my hubs and I are so compatible. I love to make him pies and homemade milkshakes, and I love to do it in a delightful, cheery kitchen space. So, in our next how I’m totally going all Paint Pot Patricia and redoing the builder cabinets into something extra-fabulous!
Watch out, Lowe’s. This mama’s coming at ya!
(Great post, Miss Nester!)
I would have a totally tacky room. Have you not been thrifting and found the most unique/gross/intriguing/tasteless stuff? It’s so tempting, but I need my rooms…so that idea lives in my head.
I would tear out all the nasty Southwestern elements in my home (sorry to those of you who do like the Southwestern motif). Just because I live in Santa Fe does not mean I want carved pillars and vigas.
I’m actually doing this now – AFTER years of frustrating, nailbiting, hesitation. We live in a mid-century modern home but I LOVE cottage casual decor. Everyone thought we should decorate our house to fit the modern style but I just couldn’t do it – so it sat – while I pined for cottage casual but felt too afraid to defy what everyone else thought. Finally this year my husband looked at me and said – “it’s our house – who cares what anyone else thinks? We’re the ones that live here” and so we forged ahead and now I have board and batten in the living room and dining room, I slipcovered my furniture, we put in oak laminate (people complained about this too – but for us: 3 kids + dog + not a lot of $ = laminate over hardwood anyday!). Our home is becoming what we love and it’s so freeing : ) I fall in love with my house a little more each day!
pffft-no one has to live with your laminate flooring but you, and it works for you! I’ve seen what happens to hardwood floors combined with dog…NOT pretty.
I’ll bet your house is taking to cottage like a duck to water, the mid century modern is surprisingly adaptable to other styles.
i’m not doing it now, because personal La-Z-Boys for each member of the family looks awful, no matter how you arrange them ;-)
Wow! What a great question!
I would (I’m almost ashamed to type this) bring back my recliner chair. It’s big and bulky, and ugly, but oh-so-comfortable.
Other than that, I’d do what I’ve been doing over the past few months: simplifying and keeping it light and airy.
This just inspired me so much that I just put about 10 things on Craigslist to sell. I looked at them and said to myself “why in the world is this in my home??” Thank you for posting this!
I would like to let my love of different styles and time periods loose! Which means there would be absolutely no continuity as the Living room would be french, family room would be all american eclectic comfort, bedroom would be old hollyood glamour, the best kitchen to feel like a real home cook would be farmhouse style with curtain covered shelves, art deco dining room…so many styles, such a shame not to enjoy them all:)
Ditto! THIS is what I would do also. I was actually just browsing furniture online earlier today and there was a neat modern piece I liked, but I quickly told myself it wouldn’t ‘go’ with the Arts and Crafts style I want throughout my home. But why on earth do I want Arts and Crafts style ‘throughout my entire home’?? I love so many styles, why not have them all?
I was inspired by this post to switch my living (front of the house)and family (back of the house) rooms around. I have nice pretty upholstered chairs in my living room and have always been jealous (how silly!) that my “public” space was much better than my “private” space in order to appear more visitor-friendly. Well, I thought, why not take the Nester’s advice and decorate the way I want to, not how I “should?” So now here I am sitting on my nice pretty chairs in my family room surrounded by toys and my big TV (that I love) and I sent my old stuff to the living room that we never spend any time in. So happy. :) Thanks for the inspiration.
I love your blog.
I laughed at all the comments about ripping up the carpets. Me? I’d carpet over my hardwood floors. I know…the horror! Honestly though, they’re so hard to keep clean, every room is an echo chamber, my fat cats sound like elephants in work boots, and I’ve spent a fortune in area rugs.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! *snort*
elephants in work boots…oh goodness I can’t breathe!
I have a behemoth of a feline myself, she sounds like a herd all by herself.
I don’t know what I would do…but I wanted to thank you for giving me the inspiration I needed to paint in our new rental home! We’ve owned a house for six years, and as soon as we moved here I said “I need to paint! The wall color in this house just…exists.” My husband looked at me like I’d lost my senses…”It’s a rental.” Yep! But it is still our home!