Use fake, bright green, dusty ivy over your kitchen cabs. You will for sure trick everyone and they will think that you can grow that stuff up there. They will comment on how on trend your kitchen is. The 1980’s were good.

Hang one tiny picture high on the wall over your big sofa.

Hang a grouping of non related objects high on the wall over your big sofa.

Place all your furniture against the walls.

Buy a huge tv as big as a twin bed and put it in your main living room.

Cords, lots and lots of cords.

Leave dated paneling unpainted because your father in law tells you that painting it is a bad idea.

Leave your dated brick fireplace unpainted because your mother in law tells you that painting it is a bad idea.

Use only the overhead ceiling fan light for your lighting in a room. Do not use any lamps.

Let your drapes hang more than a quarter inch off the ground. Better yet, let them stop right at the window sill.

Buy the matching loveseat and sofa. You will never regret it. Don’t opt for the sofa and a few chairs in a different pattern or fabric that are more versatile. You can always buy new furniture when you move and your new house won’t fit a loveseat and sofa.

Buy the matching set.

Buy the smallest chandelier you can find.

Hang that small chandelier higher than 60 inches from the ground when it’s over a table.

Keep the blinds closed all day even when you are home.

Never paint your walls.

Try to follow a list of rules that people try to force on you when decorating your home especially any set of rules listed on a blog.

Put off any and all projects until they can be done to perfection.