Out of all the stuff I shared this week, this is the most difficult post for me to write. I’ve started over twice.
I’ve alluded to it before once or twice. I woke up (without an alarm, just became wide awake) early morning pretty much every day last year.
Last February I went to the doctor because I knew that I was dying of heart failure. My left arm was numb. My heart literally hurt. I knew I was going to have a heart attack at any moment. The did an EKG and other expensive tests, even one where I had to run on a treadmill like a hill and guess what? I was perfectly fine. My heart was normal. Absolutely nothing was wrong with it.
So then I wondered if maybe my heart was hurting because Shaun Groves had just asked me to go to Tanzania and even though I promptly told him No Way and got a face transplant so he wouldn’t recognize me and changed my phone number and wore a disguise, I couldn’t stop thinking about ding-a-ling-Tanzania. I knew I’d end up going and it scared me hard.
There was another scenario that was stressing me too. And fair warning, long post ahead.