This week we’ve been discussing thrift store shopping and I admitted my recent tendency to purchase pretty items without much thought simply because they were a good price and I knew if I didn’t use it, I could sell it. I’ve decided to stop that cycle. The best part of the posts is always in the comments. The Nesting Place community is so gracious and honest, thank you all for your thoughtful, heartfelt, real input, I loved reading each comment and I’m honored you took time out of your busy day to read my words and the words of others. I felt like I left a few questions unanswered and I wanted to address a couple things so here goes:
Will I still shop at thrift stores and yard sales?
Absolutely, just now I’m at a point in my life where I want to be more intentional. Hence the post about not buying all sorts of cute things just because they are three dollars.
Do I think it’s ok to buy something you love even if you aren’t sure where to put it?
Yes and also no. There are two kinds of people when it comes to shopping. I think the people that need to hear the yes won’t listen, they’ve been too worried for the last 2 months over a $6 black photo frame and whether or not it’s perfect enough for their bare room. And the people that need to hear the no are too busy trying to cram in that extra side table into their family room, next to the other two side tables that they found on sale.
I have something in every room that I purchased without knowing exactly where it would go. That’s the fun creative part to me. But, I’ve also learned now that my rooms are coming along I no longer need that great lamp for $10. Six months ago, I needed a few lamps now, I don’t. The secret is in knowing when to say no, when to stop, and also when to say yes. Sometimes the only way to learn is to make a few purchases and end up with an item that is worthwhile and accidentally buy something that is a total waste and then, process that and use that information next time.
my current stash, not including 4 bins of Christmas stuff in the garage
What changed?
1. We settled in:
This is the first time in years that we have lived in a house for more than one year at a time. In the past six and a half years we have lived in 5 different houses/condos/rentals. Moving was not a chance to purge for me, a job loss kick started these moves and I didn’t want to get rid of something we might use because I knew we couldn’t afford to replace it. Now, I finally feel a little bit settled and can have items that work for this home and not worry that my big chairs will work in my next home so I should keep them. Seriously, I’ve kept chairs for the last four years that only fit correctly when we have the leafs? leaves? in our table. We haven’t had room for all the leafs in our table since the house we lived in when we bought it~five years ago. I kept wondering if the chairs will work in the next house and they came with the table and I liked them. But I sold them last week because I’ve decided that we need chairs that work now, today, in this house. In all actuality, this is the first time in 4 years I feel okay about seriously getting rid of things. Kind of embarrassing.
2. We decided to paint and do a few little upgrades to our rental.
It’s amazing how allowing myself to personalize our space in this way has taken the pressure off having cute accessories to define our space and make it feel personal. This was huge, HUGE for me.
pretty but too many little things for me right now
3. I stopped my addiction to tchotchkes.
Over time, I’ve changed my decorating ways. I used to decorate heavily for spring, summer, fall, and holidays especially when I homeschooled my boys and they were home all day to enjoy it. I used to rely on tchotchkes or accessories to make a space feel personal {click here to read about my discovery of my accessory addiction}, now I’d rather add in a few architectural elements. I still have a stash of items I’m not using, it’s just housed in a smaller space. And I quieted my house this summer and never added much back in. So in a way, my style has changed, remember the red toile sofa? Still love it, but ready for something different. Just like you probably aren’t wearing the same boots you wore 6 years ago. Or making all the same recipes. We all go through stages and I really really believe there is no wrong or right stage. If you love tchotchkes, by all means, display them without guilt!
for sure too much stuff for me right now
4. The trip to the Cottage.
Once I experienced the tchotchkeless cottage I was confident that I could create a space that had personality, warmth and style without lots of little things. We added board and batten and beadboard and painted the downstairs, suddenly I started to appreciate the fragile bones of our builder grade rental. Angela’s style has really impacted me and I can’t wait to visit the cottage again this spring for more research relaxation.
Is it wrong to enjoy a pretty house?
Not at all. But I think it’s easy for materialism and comparison to creep in and that’s something I like to be mindful of. I don’t believe that moving furniture, painting walls, changing pillow covers and enjoying those things is a sign of discontentment for me. Nobody accuses the writer who is restless with the pen and a blank page of trying find her contentment in the wrong place. Is the singer who changes the arrangement, the pianist who craves the keys, the painter who tweaks the canvas, the collector searching for that one last treasure, the songwriter who paces the floor waiting for the perfect words, are they looking for meaning and contentment in all the wrong places simply based on what they are passionate about? Is it about time they smartened up and stopped wasting their time? No one would dare accuse them of such. I think they are created to pursue their art. I LOVE tweaking and playing in our home and I’ve done it my whole life, it’s who I am, my home is my canvas. As a child I dreamed of creating beautiful, meaningful rooms. I’m guessing that you are one of those people too. If treating your home as a canvas is a ridiculous notion to you, you probably stopped reading this blog years ago and you are probably pursing something that you love that I wouldn’t understand~I love it when people know how to find their passion.
Will I still buy things for my house?
Um, YES. I have always been committed to not purchase things for the house with credit, and I discuss major purchases with my husband. Now, I simply feel free to let some things go, not hold onto past great deals, and I’m currently enjoying more cleared off surfaces. Right now I’m on the lookout for a few more chairs. To quote my husband, “I know what I want and I’m willing to wait.” It only took me 6 months to find a coffee table. And, I’m not making any promises, tomorrow, I might change my style. Tomorrow, I might decide I want to sell everything and live in a cave, tomorrow I might want to pursue another passion. Wouldn’t it be boring if I liked the same things for the rest of my life?
What I’ve learned:
I want to be intentional about what I purchase. Some people would say that buying a sailfish to go over our tv was a huge waste of money. I would argue that it was the most intentional home purchase I’ve made in years. Good, original art is priceless.
On the other hand, those 5 stockings that I got for free with a store credit from One Kings Lane, that ended up not working out for me? Those were a waste. And that $5 thrift store item that I bought last month and never used, that is also a waste. I hate waste. I want to learn from times I’ve wasted so that I don’t do it again. But, I also feel that mistakes are worth what you learn from them~so from a cup-is-half-full-person I count those “wastes” as learning experiences. But, now that I’m aware how some of my wasting triggers, I hold myself to a higher standard of not wasting.
I’ve also learned that I like to be surrounded by less stuff. I can enjoy things more when they have space and when I can hear their voice. I was kind of surprised by this.
I enjoy bringing nature and meaningful beauty into our home. Some of my favorite items in our home are my street canvas, the large photo of our boys on the tire swing, the tray with the verse, those antlers.
I also enjoy finding beauty in imperfection and castoffs. I think there is something deeper there than just getting a cute chair with a fresh coat of paint. There is value in the process of creating something beautiful out of something no one wanted, value in the vision and the care and the risk. I have yet to tire of seeing a great makeover.
Be careful not to belittle the time and enjoyment and value that someone may get from creating a beautiful canvas called home, as we are careful not to let our home and the items in it become the focus and most meaningful thing in our lives, or let them get in the way of more important things like our family and our goals and priorities. It’s about balance, being intentional and allowing yourself to be who you were created to be.
And that’s all I’m gonna say about that. At least for today.
I can see the joy you have at finally being able to settle in after the last few years of moving. There is a lot of good wisdom in these posts! It take enormous restraint to say NO to the deals. But I hope it gets easier for me with practice! :)
Your point #4 leaves me speechless. Thank you for such a huge compliment.
I feel like this post was written just for me…I’ve been struggling lately with the fact that I just simply love to decorate and tweak, tweak, tweak our home. Is this discontentment? An inability to appreciate my blessings…why can’t I leave well enough alone? Shouldn’t I be giving my time and energy to something else? Yes, as a Christian, this is something I’ve often wrestled with. Just this morning I took this to God and felt him tell me it was ok and to let go of the guilt. Then I read your thoughtful words which confirmed my answer. Thank you, Nester for your beautiful post. God made me creative with an eye for aesthetics and my home is my canvas.
great! great! post.
Wow! I have been so inspired by this post series as I have just spent the last two months cleaning out my house and have literally cleaned out as much as I have kept!! It feels so so good and meaningful and I think although the tweaking will never stop, I have the opportunity to really enjoy what I have. And I absolutely love how you and Emily liken your passions to the expressive art that is a way to express yourselves. It is a concept that has given me so much freedom to do what I love!!
30 Moses told the Israelites, “See, God has selected Bezalel son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. 31 He’s filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and know-how for making all sorts of things, 32 to design and work in gold, silver, and bronze; 33 to carve stones and set them; to carve wood, working in every kind of skilled craft. 34 And he’s also made him a teacher, he and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan. 35 He’s gifted them with the know-how needed for carving, designing, weaving, and embroidering in blue, purple, and scarlet fabrics, and in fine linen. They can make anything and design anything. Exodus 35
Your gifts and talents are God-given and you beautifully use them. Opening your home to the blogworld and to your own world is ministry. Anyone saying otherwise simply does not understand and is misguided in their perception. Loved this post friend!
i love what you mentioned about Exodus3 5. i recently read that passage and it didn’t occur to me in just this way so thank you so much for sharing.
Your posts the last few days really spoke to me. I think I have too much cute (but cheap) stuff!!
I’m going to slooooow down on bringing home the cute stuff!!
Mr. AntiqueChase thanks you! LOL
Lots to think about here, Nester. I think I’ve gone overboard courtesy of a certain home based business and am ready to scale back, simplify, use what I have. I honestly think this will help stretch me creatively if I curb the impulse to jump online and place an order or run out to my favorite thrift store, wallet in hand. Thanks for articulating this so beautifully and sharing your experiences!
Thanks for all the good points…it’s so easy to get sucked up into the “stuff” in our home instead of the people and blessings already there. Doesn’t matter weather that “stuff” cost 5 cents or $500…it all needs to be kept in such persepective!
Ok, so here is where I offend you LOL. First, I LOVE your blog and have read it for years. I have been in the same boat as you where you start out with nothing and have to use what you got. That is why I think a lot of people love you. I also noticed the past two years I think that you kind of….did a LOT. Like the apotocary (sp? sorry) jars…..I would do one…maybe three (in no way holding myself out as a decorating guru)….but you put a lot. And I would love it, but in theory only. I have a bunch of kids so those get broken. Plus they get lost in the forrest. Hard to appreciate when you have so many that the things going in them lose their value. At least they would for me. I went through this same phase. You started changing your style (loved the old style, love the new) and I noticed what you were doing. It all makes sense now because I TOO have held onto things in case the next house we would need it. We finally bought our first single family and plan (but hey, we never know what God has in mind) to stay. I am suddenly realizing the huge hoard I saved to same me money makes me sad. I no longer like this stuff and want to upgrade. I am taking a cue from you. I am going to sell and donate (and hey, being dirt poor like I was…some wonderful women who donated some great decorating stuff that I could get cheap was a literal answer to prayer many, many times..times to pass on the blessing ).
Yep, I get it now, The Nester finally has a nest and she is breathing a long deep sigh of relief.
Much enjoyment and love now that you feel at home and don’t need to drag the “home” with you (I did that too, NINE moves in ten years fun, fun, fun).
I didn’t know you weren’t homeschooling anymore, was wondering about that as I could have sworn you were before and then you said something about school…ok, comment WAY too long.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings.
Just I got it. I waited YEARS to get to the point where I could purchase stuff to decorate and then you can’t stop LOL and then you have to go…no, I have enough lamps. The key is to have enough lamps that YOU LOVE…then the stopping is much easier.
no offense at all, you are pointing out the exact example that I thought of, one or two jars were gifts, the rest, I woke up one day and realized I had bought them all for 50 cents to a few dollars~how many apothecary jars do I need? I’m keeping one. A small one.
knowing when to stop is a big thing for me, it’s not like those were $40 each, that would have been a natural stopping point, but to see a pretty jar in a thrift store for .99! It was a no brainer, or so I thought. Anyone need any glass jars?
and as always, I bet there are people out there who LOVE and collect apothecaries, they should, by all means collect more than a few if that is their passion, they are not my passion.
I know I am late to this post, but its where I am now, too. We’ve recently moved to a rental house and downsized by half. I specifically was writing concerning those apothecary jars…I was talking to a friend and referenced you and your jars and how I don’t even know if I would have ever bought or liked them, even, had I not read your blog and thought, “Oh, I *need* those. Hahaha!!! Not sure why my style is/was influenced so by others{and you} and wonder how much stuff I have that I “had to have” because I saw it on a blog. You know what I mean??
It is quite ridiculous the clutter and the fact that I feel like I could be on “Hoarders”. Yikes!! Yes, definitely time to simplify.
Thanks for another great post, Nester!!
Elise
Sorry, I meant that the stuff you put in apotocary jars….I can’t spell that….when you have so many..you start sticking anything in them to just fill them. When you keep one or a few something precious gets highlighted. Kids up from nap….can’t type right…ahhh..
Thank you for your wonderful words. I would have to say that I feel the exact same way as you about a wonderful makeover and seeing something beautiful come from something no one wanted. I just could never express it in the beautiful way you did, Thanks for sharing! I unfortunately am the kind of person with blank walls who spends 6 months wondering if I should buy the picture frame I saw at Hobbly Lobby……but I’m working on that! ;)
Thanks so much for your blog, your post, and your serving Christ through this means. Your blog is an inspiration and a blessing.
This issue is one that I have wrestled with many times and became so much more real over the last two years. We essentially sold or gave away most of our stuff and moved to Ecuador as missionaries working with street boys. There are a few things I never should have let go – things that were meaningful. There are a few things I should have given up – that don’t matter that much in the end. But over all, it was so freeing to unload stuff, stuff and more stuff.
The pull and draw of it all, however, never seems to leave. I don’t buy as much because I am not in the stores like I once was. I don’t thrift at all as those places are few and far between (and should not be named “thrift” – as thrifty they are not! they are expensive!). But I can’t seem to be content for too long…. Personally, I think I have been reading too many blogs, and spent too much time being envious at what other people have access too and I don’t. But that is my own battle.
Overall, your blog consistently reminds me of what is important. Christ is first – absolutely. Family next. But I am so grateful that you’ve reminded me that as a person who was made to be creative, it is okay to express this gift through making our house a home: comfortable, warm, personal and restful. It is a ministry to my family and it is a ministry to my own soul.
Thanks
Great post! It is truly freeing when we realize that we don’t have to buy. Our home burned last March, and we have been rebuilding. I have been on the hunt for furniture, rugs, and other things to furnish our home. I almost felt panicky about it. I had some really lovely things, that I had bought for embarrasingly inexpensive prices. Then God reminded me that it took me years to furnish our home with the lovely things I had. He brought those original bargains my way, and He will be faithful to bring more ~ if I am patient to wait on them. It has brought such a peace to my spirit! We have the things we *need* for our home, the rest will come in time, at a price I am comfortable paying. God has provided gorgeous stained glass lighting, area rugs, and pictures that I have always loved for our home, and I haven’t had to pay full price for any of it. Know what you love, know what you need/want, and be willing to be patient.
Thanks for your thoughts, Nester!
wow, this is so, so good. preach it girl! :)
What a wonderful post. I am approaching the time when I am going to be clearing some things out. It’s difficult because nearly everything I have is a hand-me-down with meaning,..furniture that my great-grandfather made, stuff like that. Both of my grown children will be settling in new homes this summer and they will be ready for some of these things.
However.
I have things that are just things and I need to let someone else enjoy them, ’cause I’m done!
I accumulated a lot of “accessories” (aka clutter!) when I had my blog. It seemed as though I was always trying to keep up with the latest trend, and trying to replicate or even out-do the thrifty finds I was seeing in the blog world.
After some health issues and my mother’s recent death, I shut down my blog and now have a pile of “treasures” that I had to have. Things I really didn’t need, and in some cases want, but I bought them nonetheless. Many of the things weren’t my style, but I tried to force them into my home because everyone else had one and it was a bargain.
No more.
Thank you for giving me the gentle prod and permission to let them go, and find a home where they will fit in and be appreciated.
“There is value in the process of creating something beautiful out of something no one wanted, value in the vision and the care and the risk.” – I love this!! We are still in the starting out phase, but I can relate to the hoarding things for the security factor – that some day you might want or need it and not be able to afford it. I will do that with everything, even if I start getting low on nice shampoo or something, I will stop using it, so I have all these bottles with only a few drops left. So silly. One of my goals for the year is to not spend unnecessary money for a month and entertain myself by using up all the stuff that I’ve been hoarding! I’ve been really inspired by some of the things you have said about making your house and your things work for you, and not pay rent for stuff that isn’t pulling its weight!
So.Well.Put.
Thank you
That was very well put. The last paragraph really summed it up. I also love the parallel between all of the artists, painter, writer, musician … and those of us who who enjoy making a home … because no matter how hard I try, that is who I am … and it is ok.
Thank you. This was a great post today. I have lived in 10 different places in the last 10 years, and my decorating has dwindled to pretty much nothing. It pains me, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I so long to be settled somewhere, but I have hope that we will soon. You have definitely inspired me today.
So very well put. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve been reading and pondering the dialogue that has been going on here for a couple of days. I’ve been wanting to comment too, but I’ve had a hard time putting into words what I really want to say. Hopefully, I’ll be able to articulate it and have it actually make sense. Here goes nothin…
I am in complete agreement with you about purchasing intentionally and about being intentional in the way we decorate our homes. I too have purchased things just because they were “cute” and ” a good deal” and I figured I could use them at some point, or even because they were all the rage in blogland at that point in time. However, everything was put into sharp perspective for me when my husband was in a near fatal car accident this last summer. My job (which was a 6 year contract) also came to end at the same time. Here we were, in a precarious situation…with no income…living off what little retirement we had. There was absolutely no way in the world that I could go out and spend money on my home…whether the purchase was a good deal or not was irrelevant.
And yet, I am a designer in my heart. It is my passion. It is my art. I felt an intense need, perhaps even moreso because of the tenuous nature of our situation, to create a home that was beautiful, comforting and nourishing to my soul. A place where my children were at home. The fact that I didn’t have any money to do that with was not a deterrent, it was a challenge. And so I set about arranging, and rearranging what we had. I learned that I didn’t have to purchase anything…good deal or not… to decorate a home. And I made a lovely home. And some people who knew our situation, actually accused me of spending money I didn’t have on decorating my home. Because I write a blog, and they could see the things I was doing, they accused me of spending money decorating my home so that I had something to blog about. And although I shouldn’t have needed to justify things, or explain that I hadn’t spent money on what I had done…I did justify it, I felt the need to vindicate myself. I relate this story only because just as you pointed out, sometimes those of us with decorating in our blood are deemed to be materialistic and superficial. i don’t believe that is the case. It certainly wasn’t my intention during that time. It isn’t my intention now. I hope that these posts have cleared up that misconception for those people who think those things.
Thank you for a thought provoking series.
beautiful, just beautiful
wendy, I’ve struggled with the same kind of issue, not near as intense though, we are still in the midst of paying off debt, this blog is not only one of the most fun and rewarding things I’ve ever done, it is my job~to the point where it is helping us pay off our debt, in the same way, I have felt guilt for spending any money, even $3 when I’ve been open with our intent to be debt free.
someone once asked me if it makes me feel weird that people who read my blog probably assume we have money and I was all “what?” I tell everyone that my stuff is from garage sales, I’ve decided to take that comment as a compliment, that I am good at what I do~as are you.
finally, I just had to come to terms with the fact that there is no way I can try to convince every person that knows me or reads this blog that we aren’t crazy or hypocrites or whatever. we still are living like no one else, but maybe for us, that looks different than for the next person. just like it does with your family.
I’m so sorry that anyone would accuse you of putting your home above your family, again, I guess it’s a compliment that you are so good at what you do, and even if you were in a cave, you would have it looking beautiful~you can’t help but be who you are.
I have struggled for years thinking that I was materialistic, etc., etc. and so you can see why I am so grateful for the conversations around this area of decorating our homes. I am a stay at home mom and home school our three children. DECORATING IS SOMETHING I DO JUST FOR ME! So many of you probably soooooooo get this!!! It is extremely important that we find things that enrich our spirits. Afterall, my husband gets to go to the gym or for a run 5 or 6 times a week! Thank you for the thought provoking, encouraging post!! You have made my heart smile!
Gotta comment here, Nester. You and I quieted our homes right around the same time, and I’ve sort of felt like we’re cosmic kindred spirits that way. I don’t comment much anymore because I’m trying to be more intentional with my words, as well (meaning: if I’m gonna use them, especially in response to someone else’s purposeful, heartfelt, eloquent words — like yours) then I’d better be sure I’m using them wisely. I just had to say that quieting my home was one of the best, most symbolic things I’ve ever done. I also did it, like you, because I finally started to feel settled after feeling uprooted for so many years (7 homes, some rentals, some owned in 14 years). I over-purged during that time, and I got rid of things that, like your sailfish and your canvases, meant something to me for one reason or another. I was able to reclaim some of those things after much thought and consideration, and I finally feel balance for the first time in years. My husband’s philosophy is much like your husband’s — he knows what he wants, and he’s willing to wait. (I sure hope that applies to his decision to marry me!!) I have been adopting that for myself, and it has been so freeing. I am so much more intentional with our time and money now. Thank you for being who you are. I don’t mean that to sound cliched. I truly appreciate you, and the time you take to teach us, and to bless us with the beauty that you so beautifully create!
Your home shows love and caring. Your blog reminds people of how pride in a family and home is a loving thing. You do learn a lesson when you spend a few dollars on things you never use but when you learn to thrift shop as a way to reuse it is a wonderful thing. Your style shines for all to see and give hope to those who think only people who spend big bucks can have a beautiful home for their family. Thank you for sharing.
I love the simplicity of your home. Some Blogs I have visited are overwhelming with their decorations. The dining table is set and there are several plates/chargers with all the silverware, wine glasses, water glasses, etc. My husband says it’s overwhelming. It might be okay for Thanksgiving or a special dinner but NOT everyday and NOT with a family that is in and out all day long. I’ve removed those blogs from my favorites and have settled in with the blogs (like yours) that help me to live more simply, enjoy the things I have, stop looking for more to add unless we really, really need it or unless it adds needed beauty to a space. I’ve been decluttering for weeks and found this post to be so awesome.
~ Lisa from Indiana ~
Such a great series of posts! Thank you!
We began to finish our basement recently and started to realize how many things we had packed away that we didn’t even remember we had. It really opened my eyes to how many “little” things I buy that end up cluttering our space or being packed away. It was the same with clothes. So many things what were “to cheap to pass up” and they end up never being worn. Such a sad waste of money.
So I to have became very intentional about what I purchase at thrift stores. Having a little list has really helped me.
Thanks for writing down the same ideas that were floating in my head! You do a great job of communicating and these posts will be great to come back to.
Wow this post really hit home. Im feeligng the exact same way! Your house is beautiful by the way! I also hate waste, and am the queen of wasting. I hope you dont mind I would love to link this post on my blog, you have such great insight!
excellent. excellent summary.
How important it is for all of us to stop comparing and keeping up! Discovering what WE love, and having the guts to say yes and the guts to say no.
I have loved these posts. And I am excited as I see the clean and crisp and clutter-free Nester emerge.
-{darlene}
fieldstonehilldesign.com
Where to begin. First you seem to have summarized the journey I’ve taken the last while. We are still in the process of making this house a home – we’ve only been here just over a year. But I don’t buy things that go to waste anymore. The other point I enjoyed was the ‘who we are created to be’. I love to create and decorate. I believe God gave me that creativity. Yet, I’ve always struggled to reconcile that talent to other people in their ‘more serious’ talents like feeding people and preaching. Finding a balance. OR rather striving for balance.
My fav:
“Be careful not to belittle the time and enjoyment and value that someone may get from creating a beautiful canvas called home, as we are careful not to let our home and the items in it become the focus and most meaningful thing in our lives, or let them get in the way of more important things like our family and our goals and priorities. It’s about balance, being intentional and allowing yourself to be who you were created to be.”
Wow! You have beautifully summed it up and crossed every t and dotted each i.
Thank you and like many other have already said this is exactly what I needed! I am glad you shared that you your husband are trying to become debt free because we are trying to do the same. We even took a class at church this past fall (love Dave Ramsey) and have made progress until recently. I have to say it’s because of me, yeap me and I feel ashamed. I am to blame and all those trips running to Hobby Lobby, Micheal’s, even thrifting, etc…to buy and create the next best thing. I already have a laundry room full of stuff, even pretty stuff! After all, it’s just material things, right? This weekend I am going to clean and clear out with a new perspective on things because of your words of wisdom. Also, praying we can be debt free by this fall and make that call to Dave!! Hope you can keep everyone posted on your progress as well.
Could you do some posts in the near future showing how to decorate with minimal stuff and give ideas?? Would love to see some of your ideas
Thanks for thoroughly exploring this topic. Love this post.
Great post! I think that first of all, it makes a huge difference in feeling settled and feeling like you can stop buying things you don’t really need when you have stayed in one place for more than a year or two. This is our first home that we own and the first time we have been in one spot for more than 2 years. I feel like I know what I really like now, can feel okay to purge things and be okay with it. We will probably move again, and that’s okay, but for now, we are home.
Thanks for your great posts and for your honesty. Sometimes I wonder if you are reading my mind when I read your posts! It feels good to understand somebody else and not be viewed as materialistic just because you change things up in your house {even though most things were either free or from a garage sale}!
On the other hand, those 5 stockings that I got for free with a store credit from One Kings Lane, that ended up not working out for me? Those were a waste. And that $5 thrift store item that I bought last month and never used, that is also a waste. I hate waste. I want to learn from times I’ve wasted so that I don’t do it again. But, I also feel that mistakes are worth what you learn from them~so from a cup-is-half-full-person I count those “wastes” as learning experiences. But, now that I’m aware how some of my wasting triggers, I hold myself to a higher standard of not wasting.
This quote here, I disagree. Unless you throw those things in the trash, they will not be a waste. If it were my house, I’d bring it back to goodwill or the swap shack at the dump and it would be a blessing to someone else in their home until they no longer need it, and then hopefully they will pass it on, too.
If you constantly bought new things and then threw them in the garbage, that would be wasteful. Or if you had way more items than you’d ever use and they just sat in a cabinet somewhere gathering dust, that would be wasteful. If I spend $5 on something then later realize it doesn’t work, no biggie, I’m out 5 bucks and I pass it along to someone else. But when thrift shopping, you sometimes have to make a quick decision and it’s not always the right decision, but sometimes it is.
I really enjoyed this post and it gave me something to think about. Now I’m going to go clean the bookshelf I just bought Thursday to hold my dear grandmothers rock collection. I spent 3.5 years looking for just the right thing. :)
I SO get what you are talking about. What really did it for me was selling the first house we owned, which we built, and buying and moving into half of a duplex, i.e. 1/4 the size of the first house. My husband had the flu during the move. As soon as the bed got unloaded, and I put it together, he crashed. We had friends helping us move, and at one point, one of our friends had me go into the moving fan to show me how much “stuff” was left, that wouldn’t fit into our “side” of purchased duplex. I said, “What do you mean it won’t fit?! My friend said, “Just what I said, there’s no more room left in the rooms. What do you want us to do with the rest of it?” The only choice I had was to have them unload the rest in the driveway, and put tarps over it. Yes, you read right, the DRIVEWAY! Boy, has that changed my life.
I now think very long and hard about each and every purchase I make. It’s not fun doing it that way, but it is SO freeing. For one thing, and the most important, I am a steward of God’s money. It’s not my money, I’m only borrowing it, and I will have to give account for what I’ve done with it. Haven’t always made the best decisions, but I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons, and now, by God’s grace, I’m doing much better. And second, the more I have, the more I have to dust and take care of. And that takes time away from living. Don’t get me wrong, I love beauty, I’m just learning to know my limits.
My thoughts exactly. After 6 or more years (yes, I said years) of decluttering, I haved learned that if I bring it in it has to have a definite place and purpose or it will be nothing but clutter; clutter that I have to deal with. I don’t like dealing with clutter, so it’s easier not to bring it in. I love the part about quieting your house. That’s a good way to put it. Thanks!
The above comment was not meant to be anonymous. Sorry
what an incredible series of posts that go right to my heart & make me think.
you are so right – these comments are full of gold.
i can safely say i’m not a thrift store/goodwill junkie. i go to them & i love them, but i shop usually with a list or ideas in my head.
however, this series has helped me think about “quieting” my home. we are invaded by toy stuff, old stuff, things we haven’t used in years stuff. i want a quiet home. i want a home that reflects me & the things i love. thank you for reassuring me that desiring that is ok.
somehow ~ we’ve made the “cheap” finds into bragging rights on blog posts. i think some where along the way blogland lost the value of “QUALITY” over quantity. it is a balancing act & we all love to adorn our home with treasures, but balance, quality & things we will keep longer than a season is so much more important.
your posts are just wonderful to read, they are full of eye candy & humor, but also full of wisdom & beauty.
thanks for making me think & giving me the “push” to get rid of stuff.
I like thrifting because it has allowed me to develop my style without remorse for mistakes.
If I buy a picture, use it for a while, and decide it’s not for me, I can resell or donate. No biggie.
It has helped me understand what colors and accessories I like to live with.
Also, it is lovely to update your home a bit every year or season without going broke.
You, Ms. Nester, are especially allowed to buy items because you are the instructor.
Yes, you had a lot of apothecary jars, but I learned so much from how you displayed each one.
Showing us your tag sale (“Martha’s” term) and thrift store finds has helped me develop an eye.
Thanks for all you’ve taught me about the joy of having a gracious and welcoming home!!
I’m sitting here in my badly earthquaked house (I live in Christchurch, New Zealand) thinking how much I agree with you – things don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful… enjoy what little you have… and there is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a beautiful environment. I have lived with the less-is-more philosophy for a few years (once someone came over and asked if we were “just moving in”… ah no, I just don’t have clutter anywhere) and right now it is paying off. Sure we have broken crockery (sadly, mostly my grandmothers things) and furniture, but our house was safer than most when the earthquakes hit. It was easier to move around in the dark because things weren’t all over the floor, and guess what, the clean up was really quick! Many of my friends are leaving town because they don’t want to live in a “war zone” for the next 10-20 years but I know that we can make life beautiful by just enjoying what is good in our lives. Thanks for your wonderful blog, it really makes my day to see what you have written.
Your words and timing of these posts were so appropriate to my state of being. The past few months I have you to thank for inspiring us all to live with less and love much the little we really need. I am still in the beginning stages of this growth but see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here is my most recent post about such things…
http://domestic-fashionista.blogspot.com/2011/02/cleaning-out-my-craft-room-and-my-life.html
Thank you Nester for being so open and honest! And YOU!
I am learning who I am in so many ways and I think it comes thru in my life in so many different ways. And decor is one of them.
Thanks for this post, it was so timely.
This post hit the nail on the head for me. Thanks for putting so many things in perspective, especially the paragraph about not letting changing things up in my home be a “sign of discontentment.” I really needed to head this. Very well written.
This post really hit home for me. We lost our house do to foreclosure in november and moved to a rental less than half the size of our house. There is no room for our furniture and other stuff so it’s in storage and I’m afraid to unpack what fits because it is only a 12 month lease. I feel lost. My stuff is like my comfort zone in a sense. I feel like i dont have a place to call home and i feel silly paying for storage.I’m hoping you understand what i mean and maybe have some words of wisdomfrom your own experience. Thank you for your blog. ~KIM
Just got back to reading your blog after a cross country move, we are now settled 3 weeks later! Anyway, I appreciate this post! I commented here a while back about women who seem to be obsessed with their homes, constantly being on the hunt for THE NEXT THING and THE NEXT PROJECT…to me, it is a symptom of something in the heart…a discontentment??? Perhaps. Are we trying to fill some void? Are we just materialistic? Why can’t we say no and stop the madness? why can’t we see a completed and decorated room and be happy with it for more than just 6 months? Just to be clear on where I’m coming from, I am not new to the design world, I’ve been an Interior Designer for many years and just closed my antiques shop when we moved. I’m a homeschooling mom of 5 so I am here all day and could spend a lot of time shoppinh and so forth. But I don’t. I simply do not understand the decorating frenzy, on blogs or otherwise. Being a creative person myself, it is not just a “creative bug” I’m noticing. My new kitchen has dark cabinets, white appliances, tile flooring and dark granite countertops. The house came furnished and has microsuede furniture and a lot of black pieces. The house was built and decorated in 2009. It is not even quite my style or my dream…but I love it anyway! I’ve filled it with antiques and special pieces that we have collected over many years. I’ve not bought a thing for this house (other than curtains because it had none) and I don’t intend to. It’s perfect the way it is and it’s home for us. I would have a pretty boring blog because I’m not changing things all the time. That’s a lot of pressure on a person. And some people are spending a lot of money to live that way. I’m happy to hear that you are cutting back and I hope it makes your life more peaceful.
Blessings~ ShabbyChick
Most profound, timely post I’ve read in a long long time. SO meaningful for me and glad to have happened upon it. Exactly where I am in my life right now, too.
This was well said! I guess I have never thought of what I do here to the house an expession of my art, but it really is. Money has been so tight over the years that I almost felt guilty buying a gallon of paint when we needed so many other things. Let me say here that it was not my hubby that made me feel that way, it’s my own problem. I still wrestle with it. Two kids in college, one in private school, nuff said. :o)
I got some thinking to do…….
Thank you!
I am new to crafting, and I have to say, I am so glad I found your blog because you have inspired me to make my apartment, my temporary home, a place I like to be. I am very intentional about my purchases, but lately, I have not limited myself creatively and try to try new things in my home. I have learned that you don’t have to spend alot of money on my home to make it beautiful. I have also learned that a year of your life can feel like a very long time in a house you don’t like to be in! So, even though we are on a budget, I think it’s money well spent to make your house a home. Thank you for the inspiration!
I love your blog…I found it on FB…the place I use my pseudonym…”TheNester” on my silly addiction, Farmtown. My name is Lynnette….and I have a passion for all things linen….and birds. The Linnet bird feeds on the seeds of flax and someday I would like to have a store with all things linen, upcycled and hand made, so I can share my other addicition…”Nesting”. I so love your newly refreshed living room. I have ordered some linen so I can slip cover my own drab outdated sofa. Thanks for your inspiration!
BEAUTIFULLY said. I’ve been coming to terms with a lot of these same ideas lately and your words were right on. Thanks for the lovely and thoughtful post.
I too have recently started to become more intentional with purchases and decorating. I think it is a big way to help with building a sustainable planet.
Great site and articles! I just found you via aka design.
Amen! You spoke words that were somewhere in me but had never come out. Thank you for the reminder that God put a passion in me that is just as important as another gift.