I was watching an episode of Oprah the other day titled Are You Normal. One of the guests cleaned her house in the nude and I could easily write a long post on why that is not appealing to me on so many levels but, one of her reasons why she cleaned nekkid was because she didn’t want to finish the cleaning and the laundry and then change out of her cleaning clothes and have one dirty outfit messing up her empty laundry baskets. What? It took me a minute to follow that logic and then I got it. Her laundry goal. It’s all wrong.
Her goal for laundry was to have it all finished. An empty hamper. No dirty clothes.
She’s a laundry perfectionist.
No wonder she cleans naked. I hope she doesn’t take that logic to it’s fruition and figure out how to never have dirty laundry again…
My goal for my laundry is to have it under control so that we have clean clothes to wear. I’ve accepted the fact that I will NEVER have everything clean at one time. But, now I control my laundry, not the other way around. Two of my boys wear uniforms to school and my husband has a dirty job. We have massive dirty clothes. But, I’m ok with always having a couple half loads waiting for their dirty peers to arrive so I can wash ‘em up. I do laundry almost every day. But it’s not a big part of my life. I rarely even think about it. I’ve just accepted the fact that the best way for me to not dread attacking Mt. Washmore is to do a little bit every day.
{bonus idea, if you know you will ALWAYS be doing laundry and ALWAYS have your laundry baskets out, why not invest in beautiful baskets that you enjoy looking at?}
I think the goal for laundry is similar to how I think about having a baby. The goal is to have the baby. I really don’t care how one choose to birth it–in a bath tub, with every drug available at your local hospital, on the moon, whatever. Have the baby. Same with laundry, the goal is clean clothes. Find what works for you and stick with it. Once a month, once a day, on the moon, or even, yes, in the nude.
At least her laundry is done.
Are you allowing a goal of perfection to hold you hostage in your mind when it comes to thinking about household chores?
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Yep. And unfortunately for me, the quest for perfection often leads to inaction which makes the original mess(laundry, organization, cleaning, etc.) even bigger.
Same here.
Oh my. I truly thought I was the only one. If I get overwhelmed, I just STOP. I know that only makes it worse, but that is almost always my immediate reaction. Then I beg hubby to help me dig my way out. “Holding you hostage in your mind” is the perfect description.
Ha…me too and that why I just wrote the post about no more “another days.” I am the queen of saving it for another day because, just like, you I just stop. How is it possible that a really easy job then becomes so huge (often in our mind.) ;)
My sentiments exactly.
You should go on Oprah! Dr. Nester, nesting psychologist!
I am definitely a perfectionist, and, like Cassie said, it leads to inaction. When I clean, I clean every surface until is shines like the top of the Chrysler building (anyone?). But that means I don’t clean often enough because it takes too much effort. :(
I saw that episode too! Her husband didn’t seem to mind- ha!
Very interesting! I’m with you….as long as we have clean clothes it’s all good! LOL
~Des
You are so right. Laundry is my hardest thing. I wash like a pro, but folding and putting away, not so much. My laundry room can sometimes be a bit scary. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that while I have four small children, at least, I will never have all my laundry clean, folded and put away. It simply will.not. happen. And I can live with that.
Haha I missed that episode, but seriously doing it naked in itself seems so filthy. Having your skin overly exposed to the dust. Not my cup of tea. :(
naked cleaning. now i’ve heard it all.
last week, one day, all of my laundry was done, folded and put away. It was wonderful for the few minutes it lasted :) usually I aim for what you do – that we all have something clean to wear.
I saw that episode and thought: ewwwwww. How clean can her house be with her naked bits exposed like that? Ick.
I think that is the key, find what works for YOU, not your mom, not your sister, not your neighbor, YOU. I have always done laundry on Sundays, at least all clothing articles. It all gets done, and we have clean clothes for the week. There is the occassional “extra” small load during the week if something is needed, but otherwise Sunday’s it is.
I have a family of 5 ( I have 3 boys like you). And I never have ALL my laundry done. At night after we all shower, I have at least 3 loads waiting on me. It’s never ending. And I accept that.
I feel just the same way as you about laundry…it’s pretty rare that EVERYTHING is clean, but I just plug away at it daily (or every other day) and I rarely end up with a pile of laundry that is too ridiculously huge.
love this post. I HATE laundry, actually what I hate is folding and putting away. I just invested in baskets and put my boys names on them (the baskets aren’t so cute, but I digress..) now I have a place to put the clothes without them falling off the bed while the boys wrestle, jump or fly over the bed. I also have made a promise to start a load early am before my day gets started, I think you posted about that a while back, thanks!
Ooo–I saw that episode and I couldn’t help but wondering if she’d change her mind about the nekkid cleaning if she had some sort if run-in with harsh cleaning abrasives. Ick. I think you’re spot-on about having reasonable goals!
I don’t think I’ve ever done any type of cleaning to “perfection” or “completion” but I fallen into the opposite trap of not doing anything because I can’t finish. But I’m learning to just do a little – one sinkful of dishes is better than none, one load of laundry, one room vacuumed or dusted, one corner of clutter put away – usually just getting started leads to lots more getting done!
The sad thing is, that naked lady lives in my area. The local news featured her “Oprah appearance” on the 5 o’clock news, right after Oprah went off. And all I could think was, she has teenage sons! Who just had their mother appear naked on Oprah!!!! And now the local news!!! They will never live this down. :( Even if she does clean naked, she might have thought about how embarrassed her sons would be if she told about it on national TV.
I hope they told the lady that no, she is not normal- I mean, really! I have to do laundry daily- our machine over here is super tiny. But my kids help by sorting their laundry, folding and putting things away.
I watched (or rather listened to this episode!) and got quite the kick out of this segment. First of all I can’t imagine turning around to clean the moment the kids leave for school…everyday?! (But I could use some organizing, the closest need some help in particular!) Janell
Thanks for the good chuckle this morning…
Interesting.
And, I so appreciated this post…in that… I need encouragement just like everyone else out there. And, what works for one my not for the other. I love your basket idea. And your laundry room, too. I’m just grateful to finally have a laundry (on the first floor and not in a grungy basement) but I know I could do a lot more to the room to make the chore of laundry much more appealing. You’ve inspired today… thanks.
i saw the episode, too. and when Oprah asked the question “how often do you have sex” – naked cleaning lady raised her hand for everyday! I think the naked cleaning is more to do with that than laundry.
Also, i think it is funny that Susan’s story line on Desperate Housewives right now is sexy housework.
Being a perfectionist made me an awful housekeeper for years. My natural tendency is to want everything organized, cleaned, stored, folded, groomed perfectly. And if I can’t do exactly the way I want it at the moment, then I would rather not do it at all. But I eventually figured out that first of all that’s making an idol of perfection rather than a priority of caring for my family. Second, it makes my hubby crazy. And finally, it makes me crazy. Living like that made me feel like I never measured up, like I was completely inadequate. Retraining my focus and changing my housekeeping goals has made me a better wife and mom, and a much happier person in general. (Though I still have issues. As in I have an enormous stack of files currently sitting on my counter that have officially made me nuts, and I plan on sorting and labeling them all in coordinated folders during naptime today. Baby steps people.)
“if I can’t do exactly the way I want it at the moment, then I would rather not do it at all”
What causes that, do you think? That’s been my hiccup my whole life, the all or nothing approach. Thanks for sharing about your progress, it offers some hope!
great words ann, thank you!
I really used to hate doing laundry…. but now I do a little bit each day (and have my husband fold) and it doesn’t seem so bad anymore!! PS. I am organizing every drawer with little square baskets and it makes me so happy. Thanks Nester :)
After hearing you talk about this before (last week, maybe?), I’ve started trying it out. I never made it through all the laundry in one day anyway, so why not spread it out more? Do a load a day? It’s awesome. There is no possible way to have everything clean all at once. Usually when I thought I’d accomplished it, my husband would magically produce a full basket of dirty clothes that same evening. I don’t know where he stashes them. It’s weird. Anyway, I’ve been doing a load of clothes almost every day for the last week or so, and it is transforming. I don’t have to devote an entire day to laundry, unable to leave the house until it’s done. What a wonderful way to do things! Why didn’t I think of it myself? ;)
I agree, I used to hate the thought of facing my most dreaded chore every day, but, now i realize it allows me to never really have to think about it. well said!
Oh my goodness! I love this post. I tend to be a laundry perfectionist – not to THAT extreme, but still. Thanks for the encouragement.
For so long, in so many ways, I let perfectionism rob me of goodness. I couldn’t even admit I was a perfectionist–I would read the definition of perfectionism and think to myself, “Well, that’s sort of true, but it’s not completely, totally, 100% (i.e. PERFECTLY) true. . . so I guess I’m not really a perfectionist.”
Eeek. I was in trouble.
Maybe I should start a 12-step group for perfectionists. “Hi. I’m Richella, and I’m a perfectionist.” Then we could all be recovering perfectionists. What do you think?
Ok – laundry, my nemesis. Clearly my number one issue with five kids who play too many sports and have way too much BO to not do at least a few loads a day. But I am very close to making them wear nasty clothes OVER AGAIN because they’re just going to get their clean clothes nasty over and over anyhow. hahah
Now if I had to ever do it naked, I may work so fast and keep on top of it so much that I would never struggle with it again. EWWWW….I can’t even wrap my mind around that one. UGH!
Did my husband call you yesterday? Seriously, just yesterday morning I was sitting at the kitchen table with him in tears because he was kindly ushering me back to the world of we-have-four-children-and-we-both-work-full-time-there-will-never-be-enough-time-to-get-the-house-perfect-there-is-no-perfect. I’m so glad he cares enough about me to remind me what is really important. Oh, how I NEED things to be organized and clean and in order, but it ain’t gonna happen! And, amen, Nester, I need to lower my expectations!
Just wanted to tell you that I’m really enjoying this series! Laundry is one household chore that doesn’t bother me. I may be strange, but I actually enjoy folding clothes. And I am definitely fully-clothed when I do it! :)
I wrote about just this very thing last year! I couldn’t help but see the parallel between how I was dealing with my laundry and how I was dealing with my sin. I’ll bet everyone will be thankful for permission to not have it ALL DONE, ALL CLEAN and PERFECT!
http://phillipsphamilyphive.blogspot.com/2009/10/dirty-laundry.html
Oh far from it!! Kepping it under control, so I have the peace when i walk in the door I need to be creative, productive, and enjoy my home!!
Forgot to mention!! I have a new Giveaway from Metis Linens, do come and enter!!
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
I am enjoying this series. Probably for reasons other than most of the women here, but enjoying it nonetheless. This one cracked me up. Really? I’ll bet she vacuums herself out of the room with perfectly straight lines as well. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain about laundry on facebook. Do you have a washer and dryer in your home? Are you blessed with a spouse and children to care for? I think gratefulness is what it should come down to. And in the mean time, it’s good that women encourage each other how to tame the beast.
I stopped stressing about neverending laundry. One day there won’t be 95 different Hello Kitty socks with no match. Or rocks from the playground in my washer cuz I am a terrible pocket checker. And I will wish my son was 10 again and dirtying up every piece of camo clothing he owns. Or that that my girls would roll around in their sidewalk chalk masterpieces and change clothes 4 times a day. I just remind myself “you’re gonna miss this”. ; )
Brandi- I tell myself this too! I know I will miss all the mess when it’s gone.
“Are you allowing a goal of perfection to hold you hostage in your mind when it comes to thinking about household chores?”
No, but I’m SO gonna use this the next time someone asks me why I don’t ever let anybody come over! LOL! :-)
Layla
That is hilarious!
Naked cleaning??? There are just so many other, better things to do naked. Why mess it up with cleaning? And what about the windows? When does she clean those? Or sweeping the porch? Yikes! Lol….
“Her goal for laundry was to have it all finished. An empty hamper. No dirty clothes. ”
This is my goal too. And I accomplish it.. without nude cleaning! I do the cleaning, then take a shower and throw in the dirty clothes in the last load of laundry when I am out of the shower. All clean clothes, all clean house, all clean me…. b/c doing all the cleaning you are bound to get a little sweaty and dusty anyways.
You had me laughing so loud the dogs came to see what was going on! I hope she keeps that logic in check too!
I love your 31 day series!
Yeah…I saw that episode and had my husband watch it as well…too cooky ;) I just loved Oprah’s response to her lamenting about having an “empty laudry basket”…to which Oprah said…”ahh, I think I can live with laundry in my laundry basket”…or something like that. I was like…right on Oprah! My husband was like…there’s not curtains drawn…everyone can look in her windows. To which I responded…she’s an exhibitionisht…not a clean freak. She just needs to get her MO right especially if she is going to go on national TV…she had better start drawing the shades NOW! How embarassing for her poor husband…his red face said it all. Give me a break ;)
oh my…laundry in the nude…I hate washing clothes. Actually, it’s not the washing or the drying, but putting them up! I found that since I’ve organized the closets, it’s easier to put the clothes up because I know they have a “place.”
I must say I just love having all the laundry washed, dried, folded and or ironed and put away; with 9 of us now–it is an amazing feat! ;o) Now I just keep a few loads done daily and am happy to have this big happy family to love and serve in this way.
Oh, a home birth sounds blissful; being the Nester, I’d think you’d love this home nesting experience. People before things–right?!?
I know this is off-topic – but it’s still the same show – Did you see that zit popping ordeal? That was nasty.
I actually prefer NOT to have all of the laundry done, because the kid’s clothes baskets aren’t big enough to hold all of the clothes! I’m like you- one load a day, unless someone wets the bed. Then it throws me off!
Besides the now bothersome mental picture I have of woman cleaning sans clothing, I love the cute laundry basket idea.
I LOVE this post!
And just so you know, you are a hundred kinds of fabulous!
I love this post-I think it’s a good reminder how often we all fall into that trap of perfection. If the house isn’t perfectly clean we’re failing somehow, if my kids aren’t behaving perfectly then I’m messing them up for life, if life with my husband isn’t perfect bliss then I must be doing something wrong. Bottom line-we live in a messed up world that will never ever be perfect. As women we need to give ourselves (and each other) the grace to be imperfect-because we all are. I’ve finally settled on the thought that if I’ve only got ten minutes to dedicate to cleaning I will do my best and realize that it’s better than it was, and then go live my life. It’s just too short-and if naked cleaning leaves you with a clean house and a happy husband then that’s just swell. Hopefully she closes the blinds. :)
Why didn’t I think of that? Well, we know what I’ll be wearing..er..wont be wearing on cleaning day. Laundry problem solved.
;)
Hmm, perfectionism doesn’t usually paralyze me from cleaning, but procrastination sometimes does. On days when I feel like cleaning, I’m a little sporadic. I concentrate on one project at a time. Doesn’t matter what room or how big or small, just finish it before moving on. I, of course, do not have children though:)
I saw that episode and I was thinking the same thing. “You have all of your laundry done? ALL OF IT?!” I felt like a big fat failure lol.
We have so many clothes (especially the baby), so I’m constantly doing laundry! I’m thinking about investing in front loaders because they can hold a lot more than the washer and dryer I have now.
I’m sooo learning to accept the daily laundry task…starting tomorrow. Ha!
This post made me laugh. Thanks :)
Well, I have to say that I feel better about always having some laundry in my hamper. I mean, even if I get it all done, as soon as my husband comes home and showers, it’s full again. That’s life I guess. The work isn’t done until you’re dead. ;-)
-FringeGirl