A month ago my sister and mom and I decided to have a yard sale this October. I’ve been slow with getting stuff together. I just had a big sale last year, I probably didn’t have much to sell.
But suddenly I’ve been bombarded with reading poignet blog posts about stuff and then there was that Hoarder’s marathon that come on Monday. Tomorrow I’ll show you my garage full of excess stuff that you can’t even tell I removed from my house. But, today I’m still in deep thought about the stuff.
Last week, Thrifty Decor Chick wrote a post entitled “STUFF”. It’s a great read and prompted me to think about why I keep stuff around. One of my biggest issues is that we have moved so often recently, I’m afraid to get rid of something we might need in our next house. I always feel like I can’t be one of those people who says ” we don’t have a place for that” because we don’t even really have a place. Therefore, if I see something I can afford and I like, I tend to buy it. And I’m pretty good at working stuff in. However, the result is a really full house of items bought for $3 each that I’m not wanting to get rid of because I might use it when we move. Not my goal.
Another one of my issues is that when a person like me, who loves and appreciates beautiful spaces, rents a plain, run of the mill ordinary home with no special features, I tend to compensate with accessories.
Pretties and Posies
I look at photos like this of Melanie’s beautiful, welcoming home and I long for the simple uncluttered, purposeful look. And I know one of the reasons I think I can’t get that is because my rental house lacks character. I have scant mouldings, an incompetent fireplace, my windows don’t even have casing around them, and I’m tethered to the fact that we don’t own the house so big changes are out of the question. So instead of going after my style, I sometimes wreck it up with too many accessories. I know my weaknesses.
Then, I read a post that Sherry from Young House Love wrote about their tiny closet. After living in tiny spaces in NYC, she has learned the fine art of only surrounding herself with things she really needs and loves. I marveled at this quote that Sherry included from The Lucky Shopping Manual:
Don’t buy anything on sale that you wouldn’t consider at full price.
Um, I think that might have just changed my life. Seriously, I’ve never even thought of it that way.
It’s not noble to purchase 10 things for a steal for $10 {that you kind of needed or thought you might use} compared to buying one thing for $100 that you really needed. It’s just poor stewardship.
I think my lean to thriftyness has been skewed so far that I have forgotten that the best purchase we’ve made is our sofa. We paid full price for a small scale sectional from a lower high end or {higher low end?} maker and it’s still the most comfy sofa I’ve ever laid my tush on. It’s lasted 7 years and has held up to 3 boys. So worth the money upfront. And the thrifty police have yet to arrest me to invest in a piece of furniture we use every day.
On my journey of thinking about stuff and its impact I have decided to pretend like we are staying at this house for a long time. If we don’t have a place for something now, it’s gone. If I’m so great a finding a deal, I’ll find it again later, right? Unless I find a clawfoot tub for $5 or something.
Erin from Rare and Beautiful Treasures sold their dream house that they built so that they could begin their journey to their dream life.
A family that we are close friends with recently sold most of their belongings, bought an RV and are getting ready to pursue their dream of traveling around with their children. They were brave souls who didn’t let stuff get in the way of their goals. It’s not always easy for them but, they are certainly enjoying their new way of life. I so admire that. I’m not at all saying that everyone should sell their stuff in and move into an RV but, I don’t want to let stuff get in the way of our family’s own goals and dreams.
Erin’s family and the Mattern family both found freedom in knowing what they don’t want to do.
I want to be aware that the stuff I am accumulating can easily hinder me and clog up my home, time and being. Because we all know, it can be gone in an instant. So, I’m getting rid of the excess while reminding myself that I love handmade, I love trash to treasure, I love items from nature, I value meaningful beauty. I still love and want and have a decorated house, but I want it to serve me and my family, not the other way around.
this is very timely for me, as we are closing on a new house this friday. we are downsizing by 1,000 sq. ft. and for the last month i have been purging my house of items we don’t use or need. i have gotten rid of several pieces of furniture as well. some i sold, some i gave away at a rummage party i hosted for friends a few weeks back. i, am really looking forward to living in our little space, being a bit more intentional, while learning how to create a space that is funtional and pretty!
thanks for the extra nudge to cross the finish line!
Excellent post. Very timely as we welcome in a new season and reevaluate things.
We just stayed at a suite hotel last weekend. It was like a little apartment. We did all our own cooking in the little kitchen. I was amazed at how easy it was to keep things clean and tidy up after meals because the place had just what we needed and wasn’t all cluttered up with stuff. I’d like the same clean and tidy feeling in my own house.
Very well thought out and said!!
I love the show HOARDERS, but feel so sad for them as they are being consumed by stuff! Go have your garage sale and if you find a clawfoot tub for 5 dollars, you better phone me .
Cindy
Thanks for the inspiration. I’ve been working at de-cluttering but I’ve felt so half-hearted about it. Not wanting to let things go without selling them. And when you de-clutter like that it’s a slow… slow…slow process. I just need to let things go. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in the world with my current need to simplify. What makes it hard for me is that we have no where to store things except closets, but I guess that can be a blessing too.
In the past when I saw an amazing deal I snatched it right up. Then the thought came to me, “what if this item would benefit the next person who finds it–maybe someone else really needs to find a pair of black dress shoes for $3.” I recently found the cutest black flats at Target for $3 and then realized I already have 2 pairs at home. I left them on the shelf hoping that they would bring someone else joy in finding what they actually needed for a great price.
We are renting as well. We moved across the country (which forced us to get rid of tons of stuff) and now live in a condo. We have no idea how long we will be here so I understand how hard it is to know what to keep for our next place. If God provided everything we need for this condo, can’t He provide again everything we will need for any future home we may have?
You are right and maybe {just maybe} while I’m getting Fall stuff out {and then holiday stuff}, I’ll grab the stuff that just keeps getting moved from this shelf to that, without seeing the light of day, and get rid of it. Meanwhile, we had a dumpster last Summer because we were getting rid of “stuff” so we could put our house on the market. I’m not sure how much I’ve brought back in this past year from Goodwill!
I did see a commercial for that Hoarders show, but don’t think I’d be able to watch it. I thought I saw a rat or a possum sliding around on the mountains of crap in the one house – that just skeeved me out.
I am going to add that quote to my list of quotes to live by! So true! “don’t buy anything on sale that you wouldn’t consider at full price”
Thank you so much, for being open and honest about this topic. I just got married and even though we do not have a house full of things, it is so important for me to remember that my marriage is not filled with stuff. I think what you said really helps me to keep it in prospective when I want to decorate (for fall) or add decorations to my wall. Decorating is a great thing, but I need to remember my family will be built on my relationship and I cant let stuff get in the way of a happy marriage. Thanks!!
LOVE THAT SOFA YOU HAVE- DO SHARE WHERE YOU PURCHASED LOOKING FOR A GREAT NEW PIECE LIKE THAT??
Such a true post! The most important things in life are definitely not things!
Last week my girlfriend and I decided we were going to open a booth in an antique mall (we call it our “boutique”, but that is beside point). I cleaned out every room in my house, and all my closets to get rid of all this “stuff” that I think I might use one day. As I started making piles of all my “stuff” I started realzing that I was approaching the insanity of all those people in that show hoarders, and every evening my husband would turn that show on and then just walk out of the room giggling. It would make my pulse race at the thought of having all that stuff just lying around, the stuff was sufficating me. Within the first week, I “made my rent” at the booth, and still have so much to sell in the booth! And honestly, I cannot tell you one thing that I am “missing” from my house. Purging is a good thing!
Call me shallow but all I could think of reading the post was – Oh, I’m so excited the Nester is having a yard sale! Name the date, and I will be there!
PLEASE come and buy my crap, I mean, wonderful life changing junk!
Amen sister !!!!! I’m decorating a fall mantel today and not spending a dime ! So not into buying accessories this fall after decluttering a few weeks ago and having a huge yard sale. Purge baby purge! And enjoy your family with a simple clutter free home, that’s my new motto! Great post Nester.
xo
Kate
That said, the TJ Maxx card you sent me a few weeks ago is burning a hole in my pocket. . . .
oh you haven’t spent it yet? you have major discipline!
I am at the point in my life where I am purging myself of ‘stuff’….lot’s of ‘stuff’. It feels very liberating. Now when I go home to NY to visit family, I can’t stand to be in my Mother-in-Law’s house, which is filled with an unbelievable amount of ‘stuff’. I can’t even think when I am in her home….I NEVER want someone to say that about my home. Im 56 and that is many years of collecting ‘stuff’. I have toned down my colors, accessories and gotten rid of unnecessary clutter. It is now a joy to come downstairs in the morning. You can tone things down without loosing your homes personality…start slowly and work your way to simple and clean,
Janet xox
Janet, I think we can learn something from every space we enter. What a great lesson that you figured out how NOT to decorate!
i loved reading this post. i’m feeling like my garage is about to burst…as i just got home from habitat with 2 free doors and goodwill with an end table. i’m feeling overwhelmed and chaotic. and i’m trying to figure out what it is i really, really want to do and how i really, really want to live. love those brave mattern’s and emily’s post ‘what they don’t want to do’.
Great post. We’ve written an article on this same subject that we’ll be including in our e-zine next month.
And if you knew what Kevin and I are seriously considering doing in the near future- you would be so proud of us….or scared for us…but mainly proud of us. :-)
Layla
oh I cannot wait to hear about it!
The other day I took everything out of my bedroom, just like you suggested. It is so calming that I have yet to put anything back in there. In fact, the stuff sat on the floor outside my bedroom door for so many days that I finally just carried it downstairs til I decide what to put back. Think I’ll try another room!
And I have a problem with craft stuff. I see all these cute pottery barn knock offs or some other craftiness and want to try them all. I buy the stuff and make it and then I think “what shall I do with it now?” It’s just fun to make it I guess. I have to be more discerning. Just because something is cute and I can probably make it cheaper than buying it at the store, doesn’t mean I actually have to do it!
Amazing post Nester. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’ve been struggling with some of the same things, especially the “I can’t afford one nice thing for $100 but I find a way to spend $10 x10 on dollar store/thrift store/etc purchases”. There’s nothing wrong with those stores, it’s my reasoning and thought process about my own purchases.
Thank you for sharing Erin’s “Rare and Beautiful Treasures” blog and story also. Her story and the her blog entry written to her son about his birth had me in tears.
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
Oh, and one more thing…we really needed a couch and we loved.loved. the pottery barn sectional. It was expensive and I tried finding a less expensive couch. I really did. But my husband really wanted this one and I thought of you and your toile couch and how some things are just worth the money…and I also had a 15% coupon….and it’s being delivered any minute! Not sorry I did that at all.
yes, some things are worth it.
A sofa and a mattress and bed get a HUGE amount of abuse and use. Same with a toilet and appliances and kitchen counter top. Get the best you can afford.
I love this post. I read Erin’s blog too and I think it’s so that she made such a bold move.
isn’t it FREEING??
Oh Nester, I so needed to read this. I think this may be my favorite post ever. (*Well, besides learning how to mistreat windows, which really changed my life and I love you for it.)
Thanks, Nester. This is something that is so hard for me too, and something I’m thinking through. So hard to get rid of a good thrifting deal! So hard!
We recently read, Radical, by David Platt, and it has made me think about how much “stuff” occupies my time and thoughts vs. investing that energy into others, into the Kingdom. I’m still working through the balance and i love what you say about our stuff serving us rather than the other way around. Asking for the Lord to make it clear and that i would value the right things for eternal beauty.
Your post meant a lot to me today. I come from a long line of pack rats and I find that one of my biggest issues is trying to figure out what to do with all of the “things” that get passed down to me by the people I love. My parents just don’t understand why I don’t treasure all of the things that they’ve saved. I also share your love of beautiful knick knacks! It’s hard to find a balance, isn’t it? Thank you for your great website! Tricia
If I can just be the voice of the older generation here? I think everything you have written is excellent and right on. Clutter, buying cheap stuff, all needs to be reigned in.
Two things to keep in mind while you are de-cluttering,
1. At least some family handed-down items — and put them out and show them off and tell your children where they came from. You and your children will be glad you did.
2. Have some colorful items. I’d rather have one colorful plate in my home than a whole wall of white ones. Why? We get too trendy in our homes and then keep wondering why they don’t look “right.” We chose trends that really someone else chose and told us would look good in all of our homes. IMO, you should have a few things in your favorite colors in your home no matter the trend. Colors that make you happy and make you look good. I have a coral living room and a purple master bedroom because those colors make me feel good and they make me look good.
Ok. Grandma’s off the soap box. (well, you all probably don’t know what that means…) :)
Debra
Oh I sound like a grump! Nester, just delete this post please.
I’ve been up all night in the hospital sitting with my Dad (he had a heart attack yesterday) and all I want to do is get home and lay on my couch for a little while (the one with the colorful pillows). Thinking of how close we came to losing him just made me want to tell your readers to keep a few family treasures and to be happy.
Your blog is one of the first websites I check every day. Best always,
Debra
you are totally precious and right with your advice, it’s staying! Hope your dad is feeling better!
PS, if you have a box just for soap, it sounds like it might be clutter, you should really consider getting rid of that thing.
funny, aren’t i?
Yes, you are funny and I need to laugh today so Thank you! Actually, just a couple of weeks ago I asked my housekeeper to come over for the afternoon and help me do a “sweep” of the house, room by room, to get rid of stuff. (Does anyone else dread all the papers coming home from school?) We got the upstairs done and some of the downstairs. Once my Dad is better, she is coming back and help me do the kitchen and attic. She gets first choice on anything removed and the rest goes to Goodwill. It helps to have a partner to encourage you and someone not sentimental about anything. I live in the DFW so if anyone is interested in some home decor fabric, let me know.
Best always, Debra
I just want to say, Amen SIster! I have already had the donation truck come by twice in the last 3 months and I plan on taking one more load! The stuff starts to own you instead of you owning the stuff.
YES YES YES!!!
The greatest lesson of my life came when God told us to give our stuff away and move our family into a 600 sf guest house in the woods. Stuff can suffocate. It can own us. If we let it.
While reading this post, my 4 yo son climbed in my lap and said “oh, I want to go to their house”. When I asked why he said “it’s just so pretty”. That’s what our stuff should do right? Make a home welcoming so people see it and instantly feel warm and like they belong.
Great post.
Exactly.
We began the process of “simplifying” a few years ago. We still have a long way to go, but the ways in which we have been affected by our small changes have been incredible.
So glad you posted this.
Wow. Thank you. I have been majorly convicted about this lately. I am reading “Crazy Love” and seeing how God truly intended for us to live our lives. As much as I love my house and to decorate, I feel like I have been building my own little kingdom, if that makes sense. How beautiful to let go of things so that others can be blessed…and to give give give. These are not our homes, any of us. They should be His. How beautiful to live a life as a family of God who creates a warm, inviting home…but who also is willing to give it away…to allow it to be a safe haven for others, for as long as it takes…to not just focus on adorning the outside, visible part of our lives, but to adorn our hearts with the love of the Lord…that is what truly makes a beautiful home. I’m talking to myself here :). I have a passion for decorating, and I know that it is from the Lord, but I need to give it back to Him as an offering for His glory instead of my own. Working on it :).
It irritates me to no end that out of all of the houses nearby, we are the only ones who actually park 2 cars in the garage. Some can’t even get one car in. This directly effects me because when I am relaxing on the sofa and look out the window, my view of trees is blocked by cars parked on the street. People have Too Much Stuff!
I am right there with you! This is the year of the purge!! I will trade it all for quality time with my family and friends…they, not the stuff, are what matter afterall.
it never ceases to amaze when God is trying to drive a point home w/ me it begins coming up EVERYWHERE! even on a favorite decorating blog that i come to appreciate all the STUFF! :) and what you do with it, and how i can do more w/ my stuff too from seeing your stuff…! then, i hear ya voicing a question i’ve been feeling nagging at my heart lately also and i have to stop and look up like, “Lord…?” :)
i’ve been getting ready for baby #4~ trying now for months to reorganize and make things work.. dressers in the hall, cute storage bins for toys, no closet space, a rental home here as well…. finding myself all too often grumpy that i can’t have things bigger and better and fancier and EASIER! of course i LIKE to think it’s because i want things more practical and manageable – i mean, i just KNOW it sure would help simplify things if i only had one of those super cool wall units from Pottery Barn with all the marked buckets and bins! ;)
still, no matter what fancy tag i stick on it the ugly head of discontentment is what i see peeking through so often. ugg. :/ and nothing at all wrong with stuff – i’m certainly not selling all mine just yet and moving into a tent ;) for some of us even if we lived in grass huts with dirt floors, those would be the cleanest dirt floors ever and something pretty would certainly be hanging on them grass walls!!! :)
but i hear the bigger question behind “the question” and that is the WHY? why we do what we do – which i think goes way beyond just decorating or liking stuff. :) so grateful for your honesty here and the challenge to all us little happy nesters to keep the important, the important!!
Well said amber. ” Why?”
APPLAUSE is what you get from this professional organizer! Loved your post – thanks for sharing!
~h
Wow. Thank you fr this. I have really been struggling with STUFF the past few months. I am a college sophomore and I spent many, many hours at home this summer purging my room of STUFF and making it a happier place to be. Now I am in my first apartment at school and trying to find a balance between buying great new (to me) stuff and fitting everything into my room/making my space work/not becoming a hoarder. It is a blessing and curse that I discovered my love for thrifting this summer because I am learning how to find good deals and bring home unique, used things but I am also now dying to go to every yard sale and thrift store within a 100 mile radius.
Speaking of which… YOU ARE HAVING A YARD SALE?? When? Where? Can you post pictures of every single item being sold? (Kidding…Not really). Can we come??
I posted about this very thing today, and I am slowly making my way through our closet. It was far over-due for a major clean out, and my sister and I will be having what looks to be a huge yard sale. I am longing for an unclutterd life in more ways than one. Jackie
Wonderful post!!! I have to say, I am so refreshed after reading your blog. It is soothing to me. I am secretly jealous about this yard sale you are planning. I don’t really enjoy going to yard sales, but I have a feeling I would love yours!!!
Wonderful post! I come from a pack rat mom, and it took me years to learn that I didn’t need to hold onto every little thing. In the early years, I would just hang onto things we had no use for just because they were free or cheap. Then we we moved, we had a HUGE pile of things we never used and asked ourselves “why???” Why did we hang onto all this clutter, never even used it, then had to deal with getting rid of it? It was triple the work to keep the stuff around!
What’s funny is that I am a minimalist. A cheap minimalist, which means I like to hang onto stuff, but don’t like to see it, so I squirrel it away in a closet or attic “just in case”. Well, I am now in the process of decluttering the corners and closets in my home, and it feels so good! It feels good to open your closet and actually be able to both see and find the things you need because they aren’t crammed in there with a thousand other things.
There is a quote I found in a book and it goes “do not keep anything you do not find to be beautiful or useful”. I am trying to live by that.
Also, I love the photos of the first home you posted. Isn’t it relaxing and calm to have uncluttered, clean living spaces? Love it.
Thank you for this post. I appreciate something that can bring about self-introspection. Thanks for the links throughout as well.
I’m reading the book Radical right now with my church and it is hitting me hard. I am struggling with some of these same issues you’ve been writing about. Thanks for your transparency and encouraging us to not be bogged down with stuff!
I heard about that book from Angie @ AudreyCaroline.blogspot.com Now Im intrigued having heard about it again
yep, I’m reading that book right now too!!
Have you listened to the the sermon series online? They rocked me. HARD.
Thanks for this thoughtful post today! I really need to purge and am thinking that through a lot lately myself. I have been slowly building a corner in our garage for the next sale in our neighborhood and trying to ask myself some of the very questions you posed here. I am not someone who holds on to things but yet there is so much stuff so I must be holding on to more than I realize. Self reflection is good:)
On another note… that yard sale you are having is only going to be a few minutes from my home and in my mom’s neighborhood (according to Wendy:) who saw it on your FB) Hopefully not the same day as our neighborhoods or I will have to forego ours and shop at yours!
Also thinking about a swap meet before the holidays to purge some things out… I know you did that once as well. Many ways to reuse our once loved items and share them with others. As long as the car still fits in the garage I am good with the husband and can swap or yard sale and decorate to my hearts delight:)
Great post. Recently I’ve been feeling the strong urge to throw away. I think I should run with it. :-)
-FringeGirl
I have a hoarding problem – actually I am more of a frugal pack-rat. Here is my problem – we do not live in a yard-sale area – no one shops yardsales. I don’t want to give away something that I could make some cash on (furniture). I think I just need to take photos and put the furniture items on Craigslist. hmmm….
Girl this is one great post!! I’m in the same boat as you-I have been moving a lot, all rental homes and I think we’re settled here for a bit, but I just have a gut feeling we’ll be moving again soon, but staying in the town we’re in now {finally}. I have so many things I’m unpacking right now and I kind of want to throw them away, but then I worry that I’ll need it in the next home, just like you!
I think I worry about throwing something away that I paid money for to de-clutter my life then kick myself in the butt in a year from now when I have to go buy another one and pay full price. I’m trying to come to grips with this too and pray that the Lord would guide me into making wise choices with the money He’s entrusted to me. And I think I’ve realized that just like sometimes you find awesome deals, sometimes we’re going to loose money too. But I guess it all balances out in the end, right?
.heather.
Amen!
I have been “haunted” ever since I read your post on the cottage. Seeing the dough bowl full of pine cones on the empty table turned on a light for me. I have moved a lot so I completely understand “I have to keep this because I will need it at the next house” theory. I think there is a huge movement in this country with this last recession that is calling all of us to downsize the stuff we have, to keep only what we love and treasure, to quiet our spirit by seeing some empty spaces.
In order words Nester, keep preaching! I need the sermons, the reminders, the how-to’s:)
AGREED. The cottage haunted me as well. It’s probably a big part of what inspired me to rid the house of stuff, Ioved the feeling of being there surrounded by less!
WOW! As others have said, this post was very appropriate and hit home with me today. We live in a 102 year old house so don’t have a room for a ton of stuff but somehow I manage to cram as much as I possibly can in here. Well, after I read your post I immediately went to my room and packed up clothes and shoes for goodwill. Tomorrow will be round 2 and keep going until I truly feel lighter! I am ready for us to begin Dave Ramsey and this was what I needed to get me focused. Everything we have is just “stuff” and how much of it do we really need? I could go on, instead I will continue to reading your post and the links over and over! Thanks for a fantastic post!
LOVED. THIS. POST.
Every word, every link.
Thank You!
Thank you! I loved it too. Is that weird to say?
When I started reading blogs late last year, I definitely went nutty with thrift shopping and trying to fill every inch of counter space with a “pretty.” I still like my pretties, but I definitely do not buy as much as I did. And I’m not so crazy about filling every wall now like I was. Actually, I don’t think I’ve been thrift shopping in at least a month or more. That’s weird. But that’s good because there is no room in the garage anyway and I’m getting rid of it all!!!
About to make a big purchase (with cash of course) for something I’m working on, and it WON’T be from the thrift store. :) And I promise I won’t clutter it up with “stuff.”
Tidying up my house and destuffifying is on my list for this weekend. Fall decorating is coming so I need to remove a boat load of junk. Not Hoarders worthy but still…..