The words Slow Decorating have been in my head for awhile. Hearing about Slow Food got me thinking. Why do I always feel the need to produce fast, now, complete, perfect, finished, instant decorating?
I want to lower my own expectations. If expect to have my house put together 3 weeks after we move and then at 4 weeks it still looks like a group of circus clowns {who broke into a TJ Maxx} live here then, I’ll be disappointed, defeated and want to give up. However, if I allow myself more than enough time to do what I need to do, understand that there will be set backs and be ok with that, I’ll have a better chance of meeting my goals. All because I changed my expectations.
I’ve learned that it takes about a year to really settle into a house.
So with all the talk of goals and resolutions and thinking about the future I want to make a proposition.
What if we all lowered our expectations of ever having a finished house? Let’s just accept the fact that it’s fun to tweak, and know that as our children bring home more clay creations we will constantly be adding and subtracting from our masterpiece called home. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up or slacking off, it just means I’m accepting the fact that our home will never be finished, and that’s exactly how I want it.
I like to give my house time to tell me how it should look. I know that sounds wierd, but really there is a “right” way to put each house together and it takes time to find it, thus, your “slow decorating” really is the best way. I am just used to changing everything until I get it right. Sadly, your photo did not load. I can’t see it at least. Love your blog! Hugs, Cindy S.
Yes, yes, YES!!! I totally agree that with time, the house speaks to you and tells you how it should look. Off to see if others are having photo issues. I’m sure it’s on my end, I’ll check it out ASAP.
Can anyone else NOT see the photo? I can see it on the post but when i click to comments it’s gone, I’ll contact Darcy. I”m sure I’ve done something to wreck it all up.
I fixed it.
btw – don’t you love nested comments? I love them. I also love that they’re called “nested.” Doncha think someone called The Nester should have comments that are Nested.
Just. love. it.
Now I need to go install a subscribe to comments feature, since you are one of the few bloggers who takes time to respond with your readers.
Love this. The project I am sharing on my blog tomorrow involves the same idea. I could’ve spent longer, done more, tried to perfect it. Instead, I let it be good enough and then I went and lived life. It isn’t done today but that’s okay. It will get done, there will always be projects and there is life to live in between. And all the while, a home to enjoy as it is in each moment.
I just recently redid my kitchen. My tastes change and therefor so does my house! LOL. I never do anything that takes lots of money. Maybe new paint and a little rearranging of things but I admit that my house will never be “finished’. But I love the subtle changes as they come.
Blessings,
Kim
I totally agree with this. I have lived in my house for 1 1/2 years and it is just now talking to me. I love that it is not done. I love tweeking and adding and changing. I never want to be completely done.
And I can’t see the photo either. Sorry
I agree , it has taken me 8 years to really make all the changes , well not even , there are some big ticket things like counters to replace , but that still waits , I thought things looked great after the year mark but it was after 5 years and settling really in the good changes were to begin , these things take time , lots of my great ideas didn’t come over night but over the years living in this house I now call home.
My favorite houses are the ones who look like they have evolved over time. Houses with furnishings and accessories that look like they were purchased all at the same place at the same time just do not appeal to me. As the saying goes, “slow and steady wins the race.” I think this is true for decorating as well.
We’ve been in our house for two years now – and there are two rooms that have yet to be touched. I’m talking bubblegum pink walls and ceiling untouched. We purchased a fixer-uper though we are not really fixer-upper people. It was what was affordable for us. I’ve definatly had to allow myself the time to tweak and put together rooms over time. Sometimes it’s a headache that things aren’t “done” so I finally allowed myself to just breathe and get it done at my own pace. When we had the extra $ for a gallon of paint or when I found “the perfect accessory”. In the meantime, I’ve come to love and enjoy my home all the more – pink rooms and all!
I have been living in chaos for over a year during our long, huge remodeling adventure. I am doing my best to remember that we will be finished with the harder parts one day – soon I hope. However, the decorating part – well I hope that never truly ends. People change, things change. If we are “finished” with our homes, then there’s no change or growth.
Can’t wait to join this new adventure with you!
Well, crud. You mean I have to give up my goal of living in a glossified magazine shoot? Shoot. I mean I’m so totally into sterile and staged environments, and all. *rolling eyes*
Um, yeah. I can do slow. And I can do forever imperfect. As if I had a choice. Thanks for making it feel like a choice. Gives me a feeling of power. I like power.
My wife and I treat our home as a vessel. A container that holds us, and all of our stuff. We live very simply, so the Stuff consists of souvenirs picked up during our travels, art we find at street-faires, and meaningful gifts from friends.
PS: Great post! I just added you to my blogroll
i could not agree more. i am even trying to adopt a slower, more relaxed, nicer mom and wife pace in regard to the Christmas decorations. They will all come down, whether its this week or next life will go. I also am trying to work around the idea that part of the beauty of my home is the people and their attitudes that abide in the home. I am mainly talking about myself:)
Amen! Thanks for the encouragement… as a MAJOR supporter of slow food, I applaud this post!!
I totally agree. What’s the fun in having your decorating complete? I was thinking that the other day. I will join you in relaxing a bit and doing what I can at a reasonable pace. The pressure’s off people THE NESTER HAS SPOKEN! :)
Join me for my first ever (RED) MEATLESS MONDAY linky party. Pretty Please?
This strikes a chord with me. I’ve lived most of my adult life in a hurry. That pace has grown old and I’ve been learning to step back, take it easy, relax a little.
As for my house, it will never be a finished piece. I’ve always known this but it wasn’t until the last 4 or 5 years that I made peace with it. It’s only fair that since we evolve our homes should as well.
Thank you for writing this. I just moved into my house almost 3 months ago and we have so much to do. I often get stressed out thinking it has to be done quickly but starting to realize that I just need to take one room at a time…it will get done over time.
Do we hurry because of others expectations of us, or because we enjoy the rush? I think do what you find joy in, be confident in it, and definitely – cut each other some slack. Well written Nester.
Good one Laurel! Shhh, don’t tell, I secretly DO enjoy the rush, I want the best of both worlds, I want to work like a mad dog when I’m inspired, but not feel bad if I need to give myself lots of time.
The great thing is, since it’s decorating, we CAN have the best of both worlds. So glad I’m not a brain surgeon or tax attorney.
Hello!
I felt the same way! We moved just over year ago and it has still been a work in progress. A few of my friends asked me how I wanted to decorate and I told them I didn’t know yet! I would let it evolve, I’d listen and watch and then decide. NOw I know I want to be inspired by nature. We live out in the country and we have lots of wild life, flowersm a creek, trees, etc. and that is what speaks to me. Now that I “feel” the house and my surroundings I know what I want to do.
P.S. I can’t see the pictures below either. Unsure if it is my computer or something else.
Amen…and AMEN! I have three kids under 5 – another to be added this spring. Not having a huge amount of time or unlimited money, I get discouraged when everything’s not just as I’d like it. I have to constantly take a step back from my grandiose plans. Looking at decorating as an evolving, and fun, process rather than “get it all done and relax” helps me be okay with the wall that’s not quite perfect or the kids’ room that’s not nearly as cute as the other bloggers’ kids’ rooms. And of course, “it doesn’t have to be perfect…you know!” :)
I love this post. I have lived in my house for 7 years and it is mostly the way I want it to be. The glitch is I have 7 children under 12. And we have outgrown this house. So now we need to sell and start all over. I don’t mind a work in progress but it drives my mom nuts;)
I think if we purpose in our hearts to be content our expectations fall into place.
I love your blog an have mistreated my whole hose thanks to you!!!
Christa
Thanks for this post! It seems as though the decorating around my house is constantly evolving. My husband wants to know when things will be “settled” and “done.” (His mother also didn’t change a thing after a big redecorating project in 1976, so I think his expectations are a bit warped. HA!) Although, he recently declared that my decorating is like Japanese manufacturing: continual improvement. There might be hope for him yet!
Yes, yes and again yes! Slow decorating is the only way I go! We have been in our house for almost a year. When we first moved in, I got so excited to have our own place that wasn’t an apartment, that I pretty much painted anything I could get my hands on! Ha! Now I am wishing I could have had that whole ‘slow’ approach, because now I am ready for change.
In time, our house looks much better than it did when we first moved in. Slow decorating is great! Adding a little at a time and finding bargains in the mean time, help to create an affordible environment that completely represents no one other than yourself!! =) Great post!
I love this post. We’re working on a flip home right now, and sometimes the process is to s…l…o..w for my liking. I have to keep reminding myself to be content and happy with the changes even though I don’t get that instant gratification that I’d like. As long as we keep on keeping on…that’s all that matters. The rest will fall into place. Blessings.
We’ve been in our home for over 11 years. We had it built so everything was fresh and new. We even splurged on new living room furniture and draperies. After all these years, adding and changing the decorations a little here and there as money came available, it seems its finally fully decorated. But, now the furniture is thread-bare and the flooring is atrocious! And our kitchen is quickly becoming outdated. So, we’re back at square one, saving for re-doing and replacing. Again, it will only happen a little at a time as money allows. I’ve finally come to realize that it’s never really done so I must learn to enjoy the process. My house will never grace the pages of a magazine, but it’s been well-loved and well-used. That’s what makes it a home.
just since you asked. the photo showed up in reader for me but not when i clicked over to comment.
We’ve been in our second apartment for about six months now, and there are still plenty of bare spaces, pictures propped against walls (instead of hung on them) and non-mistreated windows. I keep telling myself it’s because we probably won’t be here long…I think that’s mostly so I don’t feel like a failure. Thanks for reminding me that home is home no matter where or for how long – and that it’s okay to take some time settling in. This is exactly the New Year post I needed to read.
Great advice. I’m still settling in after a year & 4 mths.
Thanks for letting me know it’s okay.
Homes and gardens are always works in progress. Would we really want it any other way? If my decorating were truly ‘done’ I’d be bored. Tastes, fashion and needs all change, and our homes change to reflect this.
We just moved to a new house two weeks before Christmas. I needed to read this today.
absolutely! There are always more things that can be done and changed in decorating a home.
And yes I couldn’t see the picture in your post
Yes, it is a challenge to slow down, but putting a room together, let alone a whole house, takes time! I’ve heard it said over and over that it is wise to live in a house at least a year prior to making any major changes (remodels) as well, you have to learn how you are really going to live in the house.
Love your blog and looking forward to reading what you have in store for 2010! Janell
As a professional mover (a military spouse), I ALWAYS feel the need to get things together ASAP. Part of this is to help give our very disrupted lives a bit of normalcy and part of it is because if I don’t get it together, we’ll be moving again before I have the chance. In the last 4 years we’ve moved 3 times, which barely gives me time to set up before we have to pack up and go again. How stressful. I have friends who have spent every Christmas for the last 9 years at a different place. Christmas of 2008 and 2009 are the only two they’ve had at the same house since 1998/1999. Isn’t that insane?
I would love to be a slow decorator, but if I did, I’d get to enjoy my work for only a short time and that makes me sad. We’re supposed to be here for another 2 years though (cross your fingers) and I’ve been able to slow a little, but not much. Bummer.
BTW, I can’t see the picture. :(
MHH, I think there will be a special place in heaven for you miillitary wives. Although I cannot relate at all to the stress of moving all over the world, not knowing where you will end up next I can relate a little to the sense of urgency you get when you try to set up your home.
We’ve moved 14 times in 14 years. If I don’t get the pictures hung in the first month then we could spend 1/10 of our lives walking around art propped up on the floor.
I know how quickly you can set up a household, I”ve seen the proof in the photos. You are excused from this post!!!
ITA about going slow. I have ADD and always want to rush to finish a project, but the results are not always the best. I’ve also moved quite a bit and yes, give it at least a year to settle in. There are so many ideas and feelings that come with a new place to live and they change so often that first year as the seasons change.
I can’t see the picture either :(
I finally got to this place in my own brain this past year. For years I wrote lists of things I wanted for each room and I would think, “If I can just get the ______ room done…” I’d prioritize and number and pout. Because I didn’t have $2,000 to get each of these projects done. But when I started spending $20 or $5 or ! $100 at a time and getting one or two things then they start adding up and, slowly but surely, it starts to look like something. Your 30 day posts were the most helpful last year in achieving this perspective!
I am so happy to read this! Seriously, just makes my day :) My husband and I just moved into our 1st home over 3 months ago and it seems like there are still a million and one things to do. It makes me stressed! So I am happy to hear that it takes a year to be settled into a house. Thank you!
Lowering expectations – now there’s a resolution I can get on board with :)
PS: I meant to add that I have totally thought of you as we returned from vacation to our little imperfect rental house and I have felt much more gracious towards it than usual. “It doesn’t have to be perfect” – wise words to live by!
Perhaps it is because I am finally in a permanent home, but I have felt more pressure to finalize the home’s furnishings and decor more here than my other 6 homes. I have recently learned to love the blank slate in a few rooms though. I can play out how I am going to redecorate them over and again and it does not even cost a dime. I am glad I have not rushed to fill it with the “It’ll do”. When I do invest the money it will be what I really want…meanwhile it is extra space for my kids to play.
Reading your comment that it takes a year to settle into a house was so comforting to me! I’ve been feeling disappointed with myself, because after getting married and moving into a little more than three months ago, I’m still no where near having our home “complete.” I still have a junk room (ya know, where you cram all the boxes you haven’t unpacked yet) and haven’t hung anything on the walls. But I’m digging your post here, and telling myself, “It’s OK!” Which helps me feel less overwhelmed, and more excited about finding the time to continue the decorating process. Cuz it will never really be “complete!”
I just moved for the 19th time in 28.5 years of marriage and have lived in three countries including the US. I lowered my expectations many years ago after wasting (a) money, (b) time, (c) effort and (d) precious moments that I could have used enjoyed LOTS of other important things. I even asked Mom once, “What is wrong with me?” In her wisdom, she informed me my priorities had changed. “Happens to all of us,” she said. Hindsight is 20/20, and I say, Slow decorating is the best way. There’s wisdom in them thar words. Keep up the good work.
Okay, You literally made me laugh out loud with the circus clowns breaking into a T.J. Maxx comment. I laughed cause I have and am in the same place…Stepping back and giggling at it all is making it a fun experience! Exposing the lie of perfection is releasing so many women from a prison of our own making… Love your post and thanks for making me smile I needed it:)
I agree with the wait and see thinking. By the time I think a room is done, my tastes may have changed or the room needs to provide another function. If I’m looking for something particular in my home, I definitely wait and see ~ whether it’s for a better price or something similar or even “do I really need that piece?”.
I could not agree more- we must moved into our current home 5 months ago- after redoing the entire kitchen and 2 bathrooms. We are slowly decorating-trying to get a feel for how the rooms will be utilized to best fit our needs and using what we currently own. We also still have a few things in boxes- most likely they need to be throw out.
this is exactly what I mean when I understood the name ‘unfitted- Kitchen’ My kitchen has not been completed it remains a work in progress. In fact all my rooms remain a work in progress.
You get a house. The house is -if you’re NORMAL – not the only responsibility you have.
In my case… now that the nest is empty, it is my focus. Re-designing and Re purposing my formerly occupied bedrooms into ‘something-else’ rooms.
It is like a slow-cooker. You can smell it cooking all day- but it seems like it takes forEVer to get to enjoy the goodness inside!
BTW– I can’t see the photo either! and I want to soooo bad!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for this post. We are moving this Friday & if the packing & preparing doesn’t cause me to lose my mind, I was just sure that the decorating overdose would! So, thank you for calming words & for letting me know that several months from now, when I’m still staring at an unfinished window mistreatment or a chair that still needs painting, its quite alright(even if it drives me crazy!)
I agree with both fast and slow decoarting. Fast decorating that allows your family to feel settled and your children to adjust to their new surroundings is great. With each move, I always set the childrens’ bedrooms up first. However, slow decorating allows you to get to know your home and acknowledge how your family really lives.
We waited 5 years before we remodeled our master bethroom and extended our kitchen’s eating area. By waiting, we were able to better decide how much (or little) square footage we really needed. In the end, we added just the right amount of space and we were able to better plan how to finish it so that it respected the arcitecture of our house as well as our lifestyle.
I struggle with this because of our lifestyle. As a military family, we move frequently (as I know you do, ) so I get pressured with the whole gotta-get-it-done-and-get-it-done-now thing! I love your thoughts on just resting in the fact that our homes will never be “finished” and to not place undue stress on ourselves because of this.
Happy New Year, Nester!
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been thinking about this lately too. We just moved into a new house in August and I’ve been feeling this crazy peer pressure to hurry up and get everything exactly how I want it. But deep down I know that’s not the right way to do it- especially with times being tight and even more so if I want to like it 5 years from now.
So I decided last week that my resolution for 2010 will be to work slowly, focusing on one room at a time and (the toughest part) staying within the budget my husband set for me. I think the biggest hurdle will be accepting that a finished room doesn’t have to mean “perfect” or “exactly how I want it”, but doing the very best I can with the resources I have.
A yearis what it’s supposed to take, huh? Now I feel even more defeated. I’ve been here almost seven years and I am at my wit’s end because we haven’t completed all the changes I want made to the interior of this house. However, my brilliant and talented and handy husband has created amazing storage in the attic and made the garage look like the Taj Mahal and the back yard totally revamped. The only thing we’ve done inside is paint — the wrong color, I might add — build cabinets in the laundry room and redo a small hall bath. Please tell me it’s not going to take another seven years for the remainder of my house. If I lower my expectations any more I will be giving up completely. I will say, that we had a daughter and her two children move in with us for two or three of those years and hubby determined it would be best to wait for any more major changes until they moved. So they’ve been gone now for two months and I’m ready for a major kitchen renovation, new flooring throughout and new furniture to replace the great sofas and loveseat and chair we’ve had for almost 17 years. Please, Lord, hear my prayer! lol!
Wow! My thoughts exactly! I seem to have different stages of “finished”. (1)Total disarray- CHAOS (2) Presentable for drop in guests (3) Full-blown Entertaining/Party mode.
I can totally relate. I need to show your post to my husband and daughter who say, “When will our house ever be finished?” (we are now going on 6 years!)
Good thoughts.
My only issue is myself. I’m a change my mind decorator. Honest to goodness, if kitchen cupboards came in chalkboard format, I would have coloured them 4 different ways last year alone. I drive me INSANE.
I thrive on change to the point of procrastinating because I KNOW I’ll want it different next month anyway.
Perhaps it has something to do with not landing things right the first time. I’m always tweaking and puffing and scooching and it never feels done enough to be able to mentally turn off the lights in a room and leave it as is.
Except for my weird bedroom. Know what I did? I went wild in that room. Off the rocker weird shabby wild. And same in the other two bedrooms upstairs. They are the only rooms I’m ok with leaving. They are perfect and I don’t desire to move anything within an inch.
ie: weird bedroom here
http://funkyjunkinteriors.blogspot.com/2009/11/bedroom-makeover-part-3-reveal.html
And… I delayed them the most of all. Now that they’re done, they are. I think, because I took the time to do them up right.
Yeah. Maybe that’s it. Ok, nevermind. I’ve offered nothing except for verbal internal ramblings. Maybe the coffee wasn’t strong enough this fine AM.
(can’t see the pic here either but your good message still crawled through my monitor :) )
Donna
this is my theory on everything!! i’m doing slow dieting right now. it could take me up to 10 years to lose these 10 pounds but i am determined.